Vital Football

Latest Manchester City News

Let The Banter Begin - Man Utd

Let The Banter Begin - Man Utd

In the first of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our neighbours, Manchester United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.

Let The Banter Begin



Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?

A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.

Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?

A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Stamford Bridge.

Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?

A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.

A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a City scarf.

'Hello mate' says St. Peter, 'I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven.'

What?' exclaims the man, astonished?

'You heard, no Man Utd fans.'

But, but, but, I've been a good man', replies the Man Utd supporter.

'Oh really', says St. Peter. 'What have you done, then?'

Well' said the guy, 'Three weeks before I died, I gave £100 to the starving children in Africa'.

'Oh' says St. Peter. 'anything else?'

Well, two weeks before I died I also gave £100 to the homeless.'

'Hmmm. Anything else?'

Yeah. A week before I died I gave £100 to the Albanian orphans.'

Okay', said St. Peter, 'You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor.'

Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, 'I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your three hundred quid back, now **** off'.

In the next episode, we take a look at Aston Villa.



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Tudor
Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
Time: 3:22PM

Best of Vital Network

Comments

0
Chicky chicky chipoloata? Is it me does that voice creep you out? So, where did you tape Paul Scholes in that mood then Tudor?
Aston Smithy
23/07/2008 15:55:00
0
If I divulge that sort of information Aston Smithy I'll have to kill myself and I'm too young to die just yet!!
Tudor
23/07/2008 15:59:00
0
Not if Sir Alex the Rednose gets to you.
Buzz Lightyear
23/07/2008 17:34:00
0
Ha ha, like your style Buzz Lightyear!
Tudor
23/07/2008 17:39:00
0
**Newsflash** Ferguson just paid £25mill for Salford Van Hire by accident, thinking it was a Dutch striker!
oliverblue
23/07/2008 20:58:00
0
SAF is scum, scum, sub-human scum
SkyBlueSuedeShoes
23/07/2008 22:07:00
0
Haha loving these articles! Nice work mate - keeping the off season bearable!
The_Legend_Of_Zola
26/07/2008 20:27:00
0
"All the cups are at Stamford Bridge" - lmao!
chelseaforever
27/07/2008 06:22:00
0
Loved the first one! Brilliant.
chelseaforever
27/07/2008 06:23:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Manchester City Articles

Celtic v Manchester City Preview

Having achieved a media confounding 10 consecutive wins Pep Guardiola's men return to the Champions League fray tonight with the trip north of the border to face...

This Is How The Scottish Media Are Covering Celtic v City

One of the best-selling redtops in Scotland is the Daily Record and wow, they are covering Wednesday night's Champions League encounter between Celtic and Manchester City..

Live Stream From Celtic FC Twitter Feed

With only 24-hours to go until Celtic and Manchester City face off in the Champions' League Group C game, both clubs, as one would expect are busy preparing for their...

Current Celtic Players Who Used To Play At City

We at Vital Manchester City continue our build-up articles in preparation for tomorrow night's Champions League game between Celtic and Manchester City.

Archived VMC Articles

VMC articles from

Site Journalists

Tudor (VMC Editor)
Editor email
Profile
Johnny Baguette
no email
Profile
Pedmachine
no email
Profile
Skoorb
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Where will you be watching Celtic v Man City?
Suggested By: Tudor
Celtic Park0%
At home50%
Pub / club0%
Mates house0%
Somewhere else0%
I won't be watching 50%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Man City 6 6 0 0 18 13
2 Spurs 6 4 2 0 14 7
3 Arsenal 6 4 1 1 13 8
4 Liverpool 6 4 1 1 13 7
5 Everton 6 4 1 1 13 6
6 Man Utd 6 4 0 2 12 5
7 Crystal Palace 6 3 1 2 10 3
8 Chelsea 6 3 1 2 10 1
9 Southampton 6 2 2 2 8 1
10 WBA 6 2 2 2 8 1
11 Watford 6 2 1 3 7 -1
12 Leicester City 6 2 1 3 7 -3
13 Burnley 6 2 1 3 7 -3
14 Hull City 6 2 1 3 7 -5
15 AFC Bournemouth 6 2 1 3 7 -5
16 Middlesbrough 6 1 2 3 5 -3
17 Swansea 6 1 1 4 4 -5
18 West Ham 6 1 0 5 3 -9
19 Stoke 6 0 2 4 2 -11
20 Sunderland 6 0 1 5 1 -7
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Recent Manchester City Results (view all)

Manchester City Fixtures (view all)

Oct 2 2016 2:15PM : Tottenham Hotspur (a)
Barclays Premier League
Oct 15 2016 3:00PM : Everton (H)
Barclays Premier League
Oct 23 2016 1:30PM : Southampton (H)
Barclays Premier League
Oct 26 2016 8:00PM : Manchester United (a)
Capital One Cup
Oct 29 2016 3:00PM : West Bromwich Albion (a)
Barclays Premier League
Nov 5 2016 3:00PM : Middlesbrough (H)
Barclays Premier League

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Buzz Lightyear488
2.Johnny Baguette363
3.Skoorb320
4.Rising166
5.Tudor146
6.Bluedub145
7.Colin Is The King117
8.citizhun103
9.johnkelv65
10.kennyclementstache64