Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
In the first of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our neighbours, Manchester United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.
This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.
Let The Banter Begin
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Stamford Bridge.
Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?
A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.
A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a City scarf.
'Hello mate' says St. Peter, 'I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven.'
What?' exclaims the man, astonished?
'You heard, no Man Utd fans.'
But, but, but, I've been a good man', replies the Man Utd supporter.
'Oh really', says St. Peter. 'What have you done, then?'
Well' said the guy, 'Three weeks before I died, I gave £100 to the starving children in Africa'.
'Oh' says St. Peter. 'anything else?'
Well, two weeks before I died I also gave £100 to the homeless.'
'Hmmm. Anything else?'
Yeah. A week before I died I gave £100 to the Albanian orphans.'
Okay', said St. Peter, 'You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor.'
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, 'I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your three hundred quid back, now **** off'.
In the next episode, we take a look at Aston Villa.
Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
Mangala Says We'll (And He'll) Deliver (Tuesday August 4 2015)
City Come Unstuck Against Stuttgart (Saturday August 1 2015)
Dzeko Fee Now Agreed (Saturday August 1 2015)
Two More Out For Experience (Saturday August 1 2015)
Jovetic Makes Inter Milan Switch (Friday July 31 2015)
Bony To Get Stuttgart Run Out (Friday July 31 2015)
Three Fixtures Selected For TV (Friday July 31 2015)
Unal Heads Out On Loan (Friday July 31 2015)
Stones Me - A New Link (Thursday July 30 2015)
Fofana Heads To France (Wednesday July 29 2015)
|7. Leicester City||0||0||0||0||0||0|
|9. Man City||0||0||0||0||0||0|
|10. Man Utd||0||0||0||0||0||0|
|Mangala Says We'll (And He'll) Deliver
» Man City : 04/08/2015 18:46:00
|Bolasie's Happy But Could Gayle Be Off?
» Crystal Palace : 04/08/2015 18:31:00
|Liverpool: We've 'Achieved' Our Transfer Objectives - Ayre
» Liverpool : 04/08/2015 18:15:00
|Tomlin: I imagined playing for Bournemouth last season
» AFC Bournemouth : 04/08/2015 18:07:00
|Chelsea Send Solanke to Vitesse
» Chelsea : 04/08/2015 18:00:01