Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
In the first of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our neighbours, Manchester United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.
This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.
Let The Banter Begin
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Stamford Bridge.
Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?
A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.
A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a City scarf.
'Hello mate' says St. Peter, 'I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven.'
What?' exclaims the man, astonished?
'You heard, no Man Utd fans.'
But, but, but, I've been a good man', replies the Man Utd supporter.
'Oh really', says St. Peter. 'What have you done, then?'
Well' said the guy, 'Three weeks before I died, I gave £100 to the starving children in Africa'.
'Oh' says St. Peter. 'anything else?'
Well, two weeks before I died I also gave £100 to the homeless.'
'Hmmm. Anything else?'
Yeah. A week before I died I gave £100 to the Albanian orphans.'
Okay', said St. Peter, 'You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor.'
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, 'I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your three hundred quid back, now **** off'.
In the next episode, we take a look at Aston Villa.
Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
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Stats: Manchester City v Newcastle United (Saturday October 3 2015)
Vital Preview - Man City v Newcastle (Friday October 2 2015)
Audio - Pellegrini On Borussia Win (Friday October 2 2015)
Beat The Clock & Be The Manager - Newcastle (Friday October 2 2015)
Three Return For Newcastle (Friday October 2 2015)
Manchester City vs Newcastle Utd - 3pm Saturday (Friday October 2 2015)
The Manchester City Injury Table..Updated (Friday October 2 2015)
Pellegrini Delighted With Strong City Reaction (Thursday October 1 2015)
|Man City||1||-||2||West Ham|
|Crystal Palace||0||-||1||Man City|
|1. Man City||8||6||0||2||+12||18|
|3. Man Utd||8||5||1||2||+4||16|
|4. Crystal Palace||8||5||0||3||+4||15|
|5. Leicester City||8||4||3||1||+2||15|
|6. West Ham||8||4||2||2||+6||14|
|Monk: We Were More Like Ourselves vs Spurs
» Swansea : 04/10/2015 20:20:00
» Swansea : 04/10/2015 19:52:00
|Liverpool: Brendan Rodgers Sacked!
» Liverpool : 04/10/2015 19:43:00
» Man Utd : 04/10/2015 18:33:01
|Arsenal 3 Manchester United 0
» Man Utd : 04/10/2015 17:46:00