Vital Football

Latest Manchester City News

Let The Banter Begin - Man Utd

Let The Banter Begin - Man Utd

In the first of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our neighbours, Manchester United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.

Let The Banter Begin



Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?

A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.

Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?

A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Stamford Bridge.

Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?

A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.

A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a City scarf.

'Hello mate' says St. Peter, 'I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven.'

What?' exclaims the man, astonished?

'You heard, no Man Utd fans.'

But, but, but, I've been a good man', replies the Man Utd supporter.

'Oh really', says St. Peter. 'What have you done, then?'

Well' said the guy, 'Three weeks before I died, I gave £100 to the starving children in Africa'.

'Oh' says St. Peter. 'anything else?'

Well, two weeks before I died I also gave £100 to the homeless.'

'Hmmm. Anything else?'

Yeah. A week before I died I gave £100 to the Albanian orphans.'

Okay', said St. Peter, 'You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor.'

Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, 'I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your three hundred quid back, now **** off'.

In the next episode, we take a look at Aston Villa.



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Tudor
Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
Time: 3:22PM

Best of Vital Network

Comments

0
Chicky chicky chipoloata? Is it me does that voice creep you out? So, where did you tape Paul Scholes in that mood then Tudor?
Aston Smithy
23/07/2008 15:55:00
0
If I divulge that sort of information Aston Smithy I'll have to kill myself and I'm too young to die just yet!!
Tudor
23/07/2008 15:59:00
0
Not if Sir Alex the Rednose gets to you.
Buzz Lightyear
23/07/2008 17:34:00
0
Ha ha, like your style Buzz Lightyear!
Tudor
23/07/2008 17:39:00
0
**Newsflash** Ferguson just paid £25mill for Salford Van Hire by accident, thinking it was a Dutch striker!
oliverblue
23/07/2008 20:58:00
0
SAF is scum, scum, sub-human scum
SkyBlueSuedeShoes
23/07/2008 22:07:00
0
Haha loving these articles! Nice work mate - keeping the off season bearable!
The_Legend_Of_Zola
26/07/2008 20:27:00
0
"All the cups are at Stamford Bridge" - lmao!
chelseaforever
27/07/2008 06:22:00
0
Loved the first one! Brilliant.
chelseaforever
27/07/2008 06:23:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Manchester City Articles

(Video) Sheikh Mansour Shrouded In Mystery!

Manchester City FC owner and current Deputy Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates, Mansour bin Zayed bin Sultan bin Zayed bin Khalifa Al Nahyan, commonly known as Sheikh Mansour

We Wait For MCFC Announcement

The beginning of the close season is normally dull and boring for many of us, nevertheless, expectancy is high for the new season, and believe it or not, there is a shining light...

Video: Pep v Jose: Whose Manchester Team Is Better

What will a Jose Mourinho Manchester United and Pep Guardiola Manchester City team look like? And which will be better?

Sweeeeet Manchester Memories!

(Video) Sit down, put your feet up, turn the volume up a tad, pour yourself a glass of your favourite tipple and enjoy a small selection of our Manchester City FC moments.

Archived VMC Articles

VMC articles from
As featured on NewsNow: Real Madrid news
Real Madrid News 24/7  

Site Journalists

Tudor
Editor email
Profile
Johnny Baguette
no email
Profile
Pedmachine
no email
Profile
Sedgie
no email
Profile
Skoorb
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

How many new players will Pep bring in this window?
Suggested By: johnkelv
Between 1 & 28%
Between 3 & 534%
Between 6 & 843%
9 or more15%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Leicester City 38 23 12 3 81 32
2 Arsenal 38 20 11 7 71 29
3 Spurs 38 19 13 6 70 34
4 Man City 38 19 9 10 66 30
5 Man Utd 38 19 9 10 66 14
6 Southampton 38 18 9 11 63 18
7 West Ham 38 16 14 8 62 14
8 Liverpool 38 16 12 10 60 13
9 Stoke 38 14 9 15 51 -14
10 Chelsea 38 12 14 12 50 6
11 Everton 38 11 14 13 47 4
12 Swansea 38 12 11 15 47 -10
13 Watford 38 12 9 17 45 -10
14 WBA 38 10 13 15 43 -14
15 Crystal Palace 38 11 9 18 42 -12
16 AFC Bournemouth 38 11 9 18 42 -22
17 Sunderland 38 9 12 17 39 -14
R Newcastle 38 9 10 19 37 -21
R Norwich 38 9 7 22 34 -28
R Aston Villa 38 3 8 27 17 -49
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Recent Manchester City Results (view all)

Manchester City Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Tudor377
2.Buzz Lightyear373
3.Skoorb275
4.Johnny Baguette210
5.Bluedub195
6.Colin Is The King189
7.kennyclementstache100
8.Rising95
9.seac69
10.johnkelv67