UK time is: 07:42:00
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Let The Banter Begin - Man Utd

In the first of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our neighbours, Manchester United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.

Let The Banter Begin



Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?

A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.

Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?

A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Stamford Bridge.

Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?

A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.

A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a City scarf.

'Hello mate' says St. Peter, 'I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven.'

What?' exclaims the man, astonished?

'You heard, no Man Utd fans.'

But, but, but, I've been a good man', replies the Man Utd supporter.

'Oh really', says St. Peter. 'What have you done, then?'

Well' said the guy, 'Three weeks before I died, I gave £100 to the starving children in Africa'.

'Oh' says St. Peter. 'anything else?'

Well, two weeks before I died I also gave £100 to the homeless.'

'Hmmm. Anything else?'

Yeah. A week before I died I gave £100 to the Albanian orphans.'

Okay', said St. Peter, 'You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor.'

Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, 'I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your three hundred quid back, now **** off'.

In the next episode, we take a look at Aston Villa.



Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The journalist

Writer: Tudor Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday July 23 2008

Time: 3:22PM

Your Comments

Chicky chicky chipoloata? Is it me does that voice creep you out? So, where did you tape Paul Scholes in that mood then Tudor?
Aston Smithy
If I divulge that sort of information Aston Smithy I'll have to kill myself and I'm too young to die just yet!!
Tudor
Not if Sir Alex the Rednose gets to you.
Buzz Lightyear
Ha ha, like your style Buzz Lightyear!
Tudor
**Newsflash** Ferguson just paid £25mill for Salford Van Hire by accident, thinking it was a Dutch striker!
oliverblue
SAF is scum, scum, sub-human scum
SkyBlueSuedeShoes
Haha loving these articles! Nice work mate - keeping the off season bearable!
The_Legend_Of_Zola
"All the cups are at Stamford Bridge" - lmao!
chelseaforever
Loved the first one! Brilliant.
chelseaforever
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Manchester City Articles

Stats: West Ham v Manchester City (Saturday October 25 2014)

Team News: West Ham United v City (Saturday October 25 2014)

No City Refunds?! (Friday October 24 2014)

The Ped INTO Europe Report CSKA 2-2 City (Wednesday October 22 2014)

Pellegrini Denies We Are Now Outsiders (Wednesday October 22 2014)

Team News: CSKA Moscow v City (Tuesday October 21 2014)

Pellegrini Praises Our Mozart (Sunday October 19 2014)

The Ped Report....City 4-1 Spurs (Sunday October 19 2014)

Archived Manchester City Articles

List All VMC Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Johnny Baguette 201
2. Skoorb 147
3. fifthcolumnblue 106
4. Bluedub 77
5. kennyclementstache 67
6. PhillyBlueMoon 51
7. CITYBOY1000 51
8. rojo2010 47
9. johnkelv 44
10. citizhun 40

League Results (view all)

Latest Results
West Ham 2 - 1 Man City
Man City 4 - 1 Spurs
Aston Villa 0 - 2 Man City
Hull City 2 - 4 Man City
Man City 1 - 1 Chelsea
Arsenal 2 - 2 Man City

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Chelsea 8 7 1 0 +15 22
2. Southampton 9 6 1 2 +15 19
3. Man City 9 5 2 2 +9 17
4. West Ham 9 5 1 3 +5 16
5. Arsenal 9 3 5 1 +4 14
6. Liverpool 9 4 2 3 +1 14
7. Man Utd 8 3 3 2 +3 12

Breaking League News

Manchester United v Chelsea - Preview
» Chelsea : 26/10/2014 07:34:00
Three Points And No Mistake!
» Arsenal : 26/10/2014 00:35:00
» Swansea : 25/10/2014 23:45:00
Monk: We'll Work On Our Decision Making
» Swansea : 25/10/2014 22:43:00
Report - Swansea City 2-0 Leicester City
» Swansea : 25/10/2014 22:15:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Your Favourite Kun Goal Against Spurs?
Suggested By:  Shaun Gloater
Agüero 13′ 37%
Agüero 20′(pen) 0%
Agüero 68′ (pen) 9%
Agüero 75′ 54%