Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
In the first of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our neighbours, Manchester United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.
This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.
Let The Banter Begin
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Stamford Bridge.
Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?
A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.
A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a City scarf.
'Hello mate' says St. Peter, 'I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven.'
What?' exclaims the man, astonished?
'You heard, no Man Utd fans.'
But, but, but, I've been a good man', replies the Man Utd supporter.
'Oh really', says St. Peter. 'What have you done, then?'
Well' said the guy, 'Three weeks before I died, I gave £100 to the starving children in Africa'.
'Oh' says St. Peter. 'anything else?'
Well, two weeks before I died I also gave £100 to the homeless.'
'Hmmm. Anything else?'
Yeah. A week before I died I gave £100 to the Albanian orphans.'
Okay', said St. Peter, 'You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor.'
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, 'I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your three hundred quid back, now **** off'.
In the next episode, we take a look at Aston Villa.
Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
Match Day Officials v Hull (Sunday November 29 2015)
Buzz on the Spot - City v Southampton (Saturday November 28 2015)
Audio - Pellegrini Pleased With Reaction (Saturday November 28 2015)
Stats: Manchester City v Southampton (Saturday November 28 2015)
Man City v Southampton - Teamsheets! (Saturday November 28 2015)
Caballero Ready To Step Up (Friday November 27 2015)
Beat The Clock & Be The Manager - Southampton (Friday November 27 2015)
Manchester City v Southampton - 3pm Sat 28th Nov (Friday November 27 2015)
Hart Out For Ten Days - Southampton Preview (Friday November 27 2015)
Silva Looks For Winning Return (Friday November 27 2015)
|6.||Colin Is The King||84|
|Aston Villa||0||-||0||Man City|
|Man Utd||0||-||0||Man City|
|Man City||5||-||1||AFC Bournemouth|
|1. Man City||14||9||2||3||+16||29|
|2. Leicester City||14||8||5||1||+8||29|
|3. Man Utd||14||8||4||2||+10||28|
|7. Crystal Palace||14||7||1||6||+5||22|
|Larsson: We Need To Concentrate On Wins
» Sunderland : 30/11/2015 00:30:01
» Norwich : 29/11/2015 20:22:01
» Swansea : 29/11/2015 19:19:00
|Monk Has 'No Complaints' With 'Excellent Performance'
» Swansea : 29/11/2015 19:05:00
» Liverpool : 29/11/2015 19:00:01