Vital Football

Latest Manchester City News

Let The Banter Begin - Man Utd

Let The Banter Begin - Man Utd

In the first of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our neighbours, Manchester United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.

Let The Banter Begin

Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?

A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.

Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?

A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Stamford Bridge.

Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?

A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.

A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a City scarf.

'Hello mate' says St. Peter, 'I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven.'

What?' exclaims the man, astonished?

'You heard, no Man Utd fans.'

But, but, but, I've been a good man', replies the Man Utd supporter.

'Oh really', says St. Peter. 'What have you done, then?'

Well' said the guy, 'Three weeks before I died, I gave £100 to the starving children in Africa'.

'Oh' says St. Peter. 'anything else?'

Well, two weeks before I died I also gave £100 to the homeless.'

'Hmmm. Anything else?'

Yeah. A week before I died I gave £100 to the Albanian orphans.'

Okay', said St. Peter, 'You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor.'

Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, 'I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your three hundred quid back, now **** off'.

In the next episode, we take a look at Aston Villa.

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
Time: 3:22PM


Chicky chicky chipoloata? Is it me does that voice creep you out? So, where did you tape Paul Scholes in that mood then Tudor?
Aston Smithy
23/07/2008 15:55:00
If I divulge that sort of information Aston Smithy I'll have to kill myself and I'm too young to die just yet!!
23/07/2008 15:59:00
Not if Sir Alex the Rednose gets to you.
Buzz Lightyear
23/07/2008 17:34:00
Ha ha, like your style Buzz Lightyear!
23/07/2008 17:39:00
**Newsflash** Ferguson just paid £25mill for Salford Van Hire by accident, thinking it was a Dutch striker!
23/07/2008 20:58:00
SAF is scum, scum, sub-human scum
23/07/2008 22:07:00
Haha loving these articles! Nice work mate - keeping the off season bearable!
26/07/2008 20:27:00
"All the cups are at Stamford Bridge" - lmao!
27/07/2008 06:22:00
Loved the first one! Brilliant.
27/07/2008 06:23:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Manchester City Articles

Man City v QPR: Purest Sound Ever Made In Human History

The goal sound to end all goal sounds. The Premier League's greatest moment. It won't get any better than this, and here's the greatest video of it.

Exclusive: Unseen Footage Of Jose's 12 Minute Rant

With just over two weeks to go unto Jose (Maureen) Mourinho brings his Manchester United side to the Etihad we at VMC thought we'd take a brief look at our opponents.

British Clubs Who Appeared In Major European Finals

COFFEE BREAK QUIZ: Can you name all 19 British clubs to appear in a major European final?

City Already Confident For Liverpool

I'm sure a fair few of us took in highlights of Liverpool's win at the weekend and the amount of attacking praise that they got on shows like Match of the Day.

Manchester City Archived Articles

VMC articles from

Site Journalists

Editor email
Johnny Baguette
no email
no email
no email

Current Poll (see more polls)

When Joe Hart leaves City, for good in the summer where will he go?
Suggested By: Tudor
Another Premier League team58%
Lower league English side3%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News
Vital Football Comment

Recent Manchester City Results (view all)

Manchester City Fixtures

Vital Members League Table

1.Johnny Baguette363
3.Buzz Lightyear186
5.Colin Is The King163
Write for Vital Football