Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
In the first of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our neighbours, Manchester United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.
This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.
Let The Banter Begin
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Stamford Bridge.
Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?
A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.
A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a City scarf.
'Hello mate' says St. Peter, 'I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven.'
What?' exclaims the man, astonished?
'You heard, no Man Utd fans.'
But, but, but, I've been a good man', replies the Man Utd supporter.
'Oh really', says St. Peter. 'What have you done, then?'
Well' said the guy, 'Three weeks before I died, I gave £100 to the starving children in Africa'.
'Oh' says St. Peter. 'anything else?'
Well, two weeks before I died I also gave £100 to the homeless.'
'Hmmm. Anything else?'
Yeah. A week before I died I gave £100 to the Albanian orphans.'
Okay', said St. Peter, 'You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor.'
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, 'I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your three hundred quid back, now **** off'.
In the next episode, we take a look at Aston Villa.
Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
Team News: City v Stoke (Friday August 29 2014)
No Injury Concerns Ahead Of Stoke (Friday August 29 2014)
City's Fourth Champions League Quest Begins (Thursday August 28 2014)
Early Season Reflections From JoJo to YaYa (Thursday August 28 2014)
Capital One Cup Opens With Sheffield Wednesday (Wednesday August 27 2014)
Lampard To Focus Purely On City (Tuesday August 26 2014)
The Ped Report....City 3-1 Liverpool (Tuesday August 26 2014)
Jovetic Takes Liverpool Plaudits (Tuesday August 26 2014)
Stats: Manchester City v Liverpool (Monday August 25 2014)
Team News: City v Liverpool (Sunday August 24 2014)
|3. Man City||2||2||0||0||+4||6|
|6. Hull City||2||1||1||0||+1||4|
|7. Aston Villa||2||1||1||0||+1||4|
|Lambert Looking For Clinical Improvements
» Aston Villa : 30/08/2014 13:14:00
|That Manchester United Outcast!
» Chelsea : 30/08/2014 13:12:00
|Pre Kick-Off Thoughts of Van Gaal - Burnley (a)
» Man Utd : 30/08/2014 12:05:00
|Burnley v United - Team-Sheets
» Man Utd : 30/08/2014 11:56:00
|Hull Interested in Van Ginkel
» Chelsea : 30/08/2014 11:31:00