Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
In the first of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our neighbours, Manchester United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.
This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.
Let The Banter Begin
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Stamford Bridge.
Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?
A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.
A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a City scarf.
'Hello mate' says St. Peter, 'I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven.'
What?' exclaims the man, astonished?
'You heard, no Man Utd fans.'
But, but, but, I've been a good man', replies the Man Utd supporter.
'Oh really', says St. Peter. 'What have you done, then?'
Well' said the guy, 'Three weeks before I died, I gave £100 to the starving children in Africa'.
'Oh' says St. Peter. 'anything else?'
Well, two weeks before I died I also gave £100 to the homeless.'
'Hmmm. Anything else?'
Yeah. A week before I died I gave £100 to the Albanian orphans.'
Okay', said St. Peter, 'You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor.'
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, 'I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your three hundred quid back, now **** off'.
In the next episode, we take a look at Aston Villa.
Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
Lampard - Aguero Is Right Up There (Thursday November 27 2014)
The Ped To Europe Report.. City 3-2 Bayern (Wednesday November 26 2014)
Pellegrini - We'll Fight Until The End (Wednesday November 26 2014)
Stats: Manchester City v Bayern Munich (Tuesday November 25 2014)
Team News: City v Bayern Munich (Tuesday November 25 2014)
Character Pleases Pellegrini (Monday November 24 2014)
The Ped Report...City 2-1 Swansea City (Sunday November 23 2014)
Stats: Man City v Swansea (Saturday November 22 2014)
Team News: City v Swansea City (Friday November 21 2014)
Pellegrini Inducted Into LMA Hall Of Fame (Friday November 21 2014)
|Man City||1||-||0||Man Utd|
|West Ham||2||-||1||Man City|
|Aston Villa||0||-||2||Man City|
|3. Man City||12||7||3||2||+11||24|
|4. Man Utd||12||5||4||3||+4||19|
|6. West Ham||12||5||3||4||+4||18|
|Team News: Manchester United v Hull
» Hull City : 29/11/2014 06:00:00
|Team News: Swansea City v Palace
» Crystal Palace : 29/11/2014 06:00:00
|Merson Predicts A Swansea City Win Though...
» Swansea : 28/11/2014 23:07:00
|No Win Prediction Again From Mark Lawrenson
» Swansea : 28/11/2014 21:48:00
|Kaikai Also Gets Loan Move
» Crystal Palace : 28/11/2014 21:25:00