Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
In the first of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our neighbours, Manchester United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.
This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.
Let The Banter Begin
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Stamford Bridge.
Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?
A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.
A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a City scarf.
'Hello mate' says St. Peter, 'I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven.'
What?' exclaims the man, astonished?
'You heard, no Man Utd fans.'
But, but, but, I've been a good man', replies the Man Utd supporter.
'Oh really', says St. Peter. 'What have you done, then?'
Well' said the guy, 'Three weeks before I died, I gave £100 to the starving children in Africa'.
'Oh' says St. Peter. 'anything else?'
Well, two weeks before I died I also gave £100 to the homeless.'
'Hmmm. Anything else?'
Yeah. A week before I died I gave £100 to the Albanian orphans.'
Okay', said St. Peter, 'You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor.'
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, 'I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your three hundred quid back, now **** off'.
In the next episode, we take a look at Aston Villa.
Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
The Citizens versus The Gunners (Thursday December 12 2013)
What Demichelis Does It Make? (Thursday December 12 2013)
How Many Goals Will City Score Against Arsenal? (Thursday December 12 2013)
Paddy Power's Ball Of Shame Show - City v Arsenal (Thursday December 12 2013)
The Ped Report FC Bayern 2-3 City (Wednesday December 11 2013)
Will Arsenal Still Top The League In January? (Wednesday December 11 2013)
Stats: Bayern Munich v Manchester City (Tuesday December 10 2013)
Die Roten versus The Citizens (Tuesday December 10 2013)
Video: Man City Prepare For Bayern Munich (Tuesday December 10 2013)
City Start FA Cup Campaign At Blackburn (Sunday December 8 2013)
|5.||Colin Is The King||162|
|4. Man City||15||9||2||4||26||29|
|Preview: Stoke travel to Hull
» Stoke : 13/12/2013 01:17:00
|Laudrup: Qualification Is Most Important
» Swansea : 12/12/2013 21:54:00
|Liverpool: Rodgers Makes Personal Check On Draxler
» Liverpool : 12/12/2013 20:30:00
|The Citizens versus The Gunners
» Man City : 12/12/2013 20:28:00
|Bassong Signs New Deal
» Norwich : 12/12/2013 19:03:00
» Chelsea : 12/12/2013 17:39:00
|Hammers Cup Tie on the TV - Live!
» West Ham : 12/12/2013 16:42:00