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Let The Banter Begin - Man Utd

In the first of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our neighbours, Manchester United. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.

Let The Banter Begin

Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?

A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.

Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?

A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Stamford Bridge.

Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?

A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.

A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a City scarf.

'Hello mate' says St. Peter, 'I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven.'

What?' exclaims the man, astonished?

'You heard, no Man Utd fans.'

But, but, but, I've been a good man', replies the Man Utd supporter.

'Oh really', says St. Peter. 'What have you done, then?'

Well' said the guy, 'Three weeks before I died, I gave £100 to the starving children in Africa'.

'Oh' says St. Peter. 'anything else?'

Well, two weeks before I died I also gave £100 to the homeless.'

'Hmmm. Anything else?'

Yeah. A week before I died I gave £100 to the Albanian orphans.'

Okay', said St. Peter, 'You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor.'

Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, 'I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your three hundred quid back, now **** off'.

In the next episode, we take a look at Aston Villa.

The journalist

Writer: Tudor Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday July 23 2008

Time: 3:22PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Chicky chicky chipoloata? Is it me does that voice creep you out? So, where did you tape Paul Scholes in that mood then Tudor?
Aston Smithy
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 15:55:00

If I divulge that sort of information Aston Smithy I'll have to kill myself and I'm too young to die just yet!!
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 15:59:00

Not if Sir Alex the Rednose gets to you.
Buzz Lightyear
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 17:34:00

Ha ha, like your style Buzz Lightyear!
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 17:39:00

**Newsflash** Ferguson just paid 25mill for Salford Van Hire by accident, thinking it was a Dutch striker!
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 20:58:00

SAF is scum, scum, sub-human scum
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 22:07:00

Haha loving these articles! Nice work mate - keeping the off season bearable!
Report Abuse
26/07/2008 20:27:00

"All the cups are at Stamford Bridge" - lmao!
Report Abuse
27/07/2008 06:22:00

Loved the first one! Brilliant.
Report Abuse
27/07/2008 06:23:00


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