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Let The Banter Begin - Aston Villa

In the second of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our Premier League opposition Aston Villa. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.

On our previous article, Vital Manchester City profiled Manchester United.



Q: Why do Aston Villa fans carry lighters round with them?

A: Because they lose all their matches!

Q: What do Aston Villa fans use as birth control?

A: Their personalities.

Q: What is the difference between Aston Villa and a tea bag?

A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer!

Q: How many Aston Villa fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None - They're quite happy to live in the shadows

The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the dark distance a voice screams out 'Villa are good enough to win the Champions League.'

Snow White says, 'Thank God - at least Dopey's still alive!'

In the next episode, we take a look at Chelsea.



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The journalist

Writer: Tudor Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday July 23 2008

Time: 8:47PM

Your Comments

seriously s***est article i've ever heard. need to look at your facts to
ruddy
Touched a nerve have we ruddy?
Tudor
LMFAO!!!!!!! Hahahahah! Bravo! Well at least Gareth Barry has got some proper ammunition for Martin O'Neill now.
R.K
Do you write the jokes in christmas crackers? I quite liked the tea bag one but apart from that - they're not even funny.
melski
Back in the 70's I used to be a stand up comedian. Sadly I do nothing more than write scripts for Vital Man City. Sad life I know.
Tudor
nice idea but otherwise a pile of *****e. I thoughts mancunians were supposed to be funny?
rotter82
bernard manning was a stand up comedian, and the best i've ever seen, so please no more, don't pretend you were in the same line of work as him,
eltoro
RK, a celtic fan arent you? Still bitter about MON leaving? What a shame.
randy.stand
Mancunians are funny looking, not "funny". Could have said those jokes about any team. Not even relevant. Shame as nice idea
Villan444
Ahh Man Us ugly little sister.....
Stourbridge Villan
lol whats with all my fellow Villains being so hostile? I thought it was quite funny.
Cubos
Late last night thieves broke into Maine Road and stole the entire contents of Manchester Citys trophy room. Police are looking for two men carrying a light blue carpet
tonybrum
and yes, i know its not maine road, but I got it from the same 1970's joke book you got yours from. Still good idea but ******** ***** jokes.
tonybrum
Thats pretty much every joke I heard of every team but with Villa put into it. So how long does Hughes have to win the premiership? Is he gonna be sacked if he doesn't manage it this year. Do you guys know how many goals Boro scored past you or can't you count that high? In all seriousness good luck next year as I hope there a number of teams challenging the big 4
supermansfoot
Thats half the supporters then from villa,some of them think you are serious.I think you may have to go into hiding if you do the chelsea one, some suggestion that KGB Russian Maffia etc, do you think this is a good idea?
Buzz Lightyear
The ManU and Aston Villa articles were written tongue in cheek. The Chelsea article will be written much the same way.
Tudor
If I were you Tudor - I just wouldn't bother. Nothing tongue in cheek about the article at all - just some re-hashed jokes that aren't relevant to most clubs. Not trying to sound hostile - just didn't like the article.
melski
Remember these jokes boys when we finish above you in the league...AGAIN!
Tez86
Touch a nerve there Randy? Looks like your mediocre players are being picked over by the bigger and more successful clubs in your league. So i think given the Barry situation these jokes are quite relevant. Loved the one about Dopey BTW!
R.K
lol, agree with Cubos, surley we can laugh at things like this, it is just banter. Thought it was quite funny myself. Nice one Tudor!!!
The Fear
The whole idea was to get folk talking aka entering into banter. I appreciate it touched a few nervous, nevertheless it worked. Right, here comes the Chelsea article!!
Tudor
That tea bag joke was class I have to admit. But Tez86 has pointed out one thing relevant to the lighter joke - we did finish above you.
Mayo_12
If that is the standard then let the "banter" end.
lerneravfc
How does this differ to any other 'banter with other teams'? I'm not being horrible or anything of the sort, just really don't understand this. They're just kind of generic rubbish jokes?
Mancuni-villa
Don't you get tired of being the 2nd best team in the City? How fitting that you wear blue :O
Villan-in-Cyprus
Get the map book out ViC. you will see that there is only one club in Manchester, there are a number of other premier clubs in Greater Manchester including Blackburn who I think you are referring too.
Buzz Lightyear
So that would make you 3rd best then.
Villan-in-Cyprus
Sir Matt Busby Way, Old Trafford, MANCHESTER M16 0RA
Villan-in-Cyprus
City of Manchester Stadium, Sportcity, Rowsley Street, MANCHESTER, M11 3FF
Villan-in-Cyprus
Ewood Park, Blackburn Rovers FC, Ewood Park, BLACKBURN, Lancashire, BB2 4JF. You mancs are even more stupid than I thought.
Villan-in-Cyprus
You still in Cyprus Villan-in-? If so, whereabouts? Used to live there myself some years ago.
Tudor
I'm stationed at RAF Akrotiri, only been here since January but i'm posted here for 3 years. Whereabouts did you live?
Villan-in-Cyprus
A Tea bag!! Now I knew from where They quote the SHIRTS colors !
city 81
Also based at RAF Akrotiri. We used to live in hirings in Limassol. No longer in the RAF but we visit Cyprus as often as we can. Bring on the Angleas Brandy, Keo beer, Meze's, Kebabs. Blimey, I wanna be in Cyprus and not here!
Tudor
Rather than clog up this comment section, can you pop over to the sites forum and send me a PM (personal mesage). Would love to catch up with all things Cyprus.
Tudor
Wow - calm down guys... There's nothing wrong with a bit of banter... Personally enjoying the whole series so far.
The_Legend_Of_Zola
Might as well flog and dead horse and dig out this little gem, baring in mind this weekends fixture.
Tudor
Well if any club know about living in the shadows its you boys !!
Mr A Villa
Ah well, I bet you boys dont find it so funny after yesterdays result.... not mentioning the positioning in last seasons premiership table either.
romanianvillain
 

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