Manchester City - Let The Banter Begin - Aston Villa
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Let The Banter Begin - Aston Villa

In the second of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our Premier League opposition Aston Villa. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.

On our previous article, Vital Manchester City profiled Manchester United.

Q: Why do Aston Villa fans carry lighters round with them?

A: Because they lose all their matches!

Q: What do Aston Villa fans use as birth control?

A: Their personalities.

Q: What is the difference between Aston Villa and a tea bag?

A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer!

Q: How many Aston Villa fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None - They're quite happy to live in the shadows

The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the dark distance a voice screams out 'Villa are good enough to win the Champions League.'

Snow White says, 'Thank God - at least Dopey's still alive!'

In the next episode, we take a look at Chelsea.

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Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The journalist

Writer: Tudor Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday July 23 2008

Time: 8:47PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
seriously s***est article i've ever heard. need to look at your facts to
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 21:12:00

Touched a nerve have we ruddy?
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 21:20:00

LMFAO!!!!!!! Hahahahah! Bravo! Well at least Gareth Barry has got some proper ammunition for Martin O'Neill now.
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 21:28:00

Do you write the jokes in christmas crackers? I quite liked the tea bag one but apart from that - they're not even funny.
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 21:38:00

Back in the 70's I used to be a stand up comedian. Sadly I do nothing more than write scripts for Vital Man City. Sad life I know.
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 21:50:00

nice idea but otherwise a pile of *****e. I thoughts mancunians were supposed to be funny?
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 22:02:00

bernard manning was a stand up comedian, and the best i've ever seen, so please no more, don't pretend you were in the same line of work as him,
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 22:03:00

RK, a celtic fan arent you? Still bitter about MON leaving? What a shame.
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 22:34:00

Mancunians are funny looking, not "funny". Could have said those jokes about any team. Not even relevant. Shame as nice idea
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 22:57:00

Ahh Man Us ugly little sister.....
Stourbridge Villan
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 23:10:00

lol whats with all my fellow Villains being so hostile? I thought it was quite funny.
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 23:13:00

Late last night thieves broke into Maine Road and stole the entire contents of Manchester Citys trophy room. Police are looking for two men carrying a light blue carpet
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 23:46:00

and yes, i know its not maine road, but I got it from the same 1970's joke book you got yours from. Still good idea but ******** ***** jokes.
Report Abuse
23/07/2008 23:48:00

Thats pretty much every joke I heard of every team but with Villa put into it. So how long does Hughes have to win the premiership? Is he gonna be sacked if he doesn't manage it this year. Do you guys know how many goals Boro scored past you or can't you count that high? In all seriousness good luck next year as I hope there a number of teams challenging the big 4
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 05:36:00

Thats half the supporters then from villa,some of them think you are serious.I think you may have to go into hiding if you do the chelsea one, some suggestion that KGB Russian Maffia etc, do you think this is a good idea?
Buzz Lightyear
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 07:48:00

The ManU and Aston Villa articles were written tongue in cheek. The Chelsea article will be written much the same way.
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 07:55:00

If I were you Tudor - I just wouldn't bother. Nothing tongue in cheek about the article at all - just some re-hashed jokes that aren't relevant to most clubs. Not trying to sound hostile - just didn't like the article.
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 09:07:00

Remember these jokes boys when we finish above you in the league...AGAIN!
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 09:31:00

Touch a nerve there Randy? Looks like your mediocre players are being picked over by the bigger and more successful clubs in your league. So i think given the Barry situation these jokes are quite relevant. Loved the one about Dopey BTW!
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 12:57:00

lol, agree with Cubos, surley we can laugh at things like this, it is just banter. Thought it was quite funny myself. Nice one Tudor!!!
The Fear
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 13:04:00

The whole idea was to get folk talking aka entering into banter. I appreciate it touched a few nervous, nevertheless it worked. Right, here comes the Chelsea article!!
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 15:04:00

That tea bag joke was class I have to admit. But Tez86 has pointed out one thing relevant to the lighter joke - we did finish above you.
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 16:48:00

If that is the standard then let the "banter" end.
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 16:58:00

How does this differ to any other 'banter with other teams'? I'm not being horrible or anything of the sort, just really don't understand this. They're just kind of generic rubbish jokes?
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 17:03:00

Don't you get tired of being the 2nd best team in the City? How fitting that you wear blue :O
Report Abuse
24/07/2008 21:52:00

Get the map book out ViC. you will see that there is only one club in Manchester, there are a number of other premier clubs in Greater Manchester including Blackburn who I think you are referring too.
Buzz Lightyear
Report Abuse
25/07/2008 07:25:00

So that would make you 3rd best then.
Report Abuse
25/07/2008 10:55:00

Sir Matt Busby Way, Old Trafford, MANCHESTER M16 0RA
Report Abuse
25/07/2008 10:58:00

City of Manchester Stadium, Sportcity, Rowsley Street, MANCHESTER, M11 3FF
Report Abuse
25/07/2008 11:00:00

Ewood Park, Blackburn Rovers FC, Ewood Park, BLACKBURN, Lancashire, BB2 4JF. You mancs are even more stupid than I thought.
Report Abuse
25/07/2008 11:03:00

You still in Cyprus Villan-in-? If so, whereabouts? Used to live there myself some years ago.
Report Abuse
25/07/2008 11:05:00

I'm stationed at RAF Akrotiri, only been here since January but i'm posted here for 3 years. Whereabouts did you live?
Report Abuse
25/07/2008 11:21:00

A Tea bag!! Now I knew from where They quote the SHIRTS colors !
city 81
Report Abuse
25/07/2008 11:25:00

Also based at RAF Akrotiri. We used to live in hirings in Limassol. No longer in the RAF but we visit Cyprus as often as we can. Bring on the Angleas Brandy, Keo beer, Meze's, Kebabs. Blimey, I wanna be in Cyprus and not here!
Report Abuse
25/07/2008 11:36:00

Rather than clog up this comment section, can you pop over to the sites forum and send me a PM (personal mesage). Would love to catch up with all things Cyprus.
Report Abuse
25/07/2008 11:39:00

Wow - calm down guys... There's nothing wrong with a bit of banter... Personally enjoying the whole series so far.
Report Abuse
27/07/2008 23:31:00

Might as well flog and dead horse and dig out this little gem, baring in mind this weekends fixture.
Report Abuse
15/08/2008 12:42:00

Well if any club know about living in the shadows its you boys !!
Mr A Villa
Report Abuse
16/08/2008 17:09:00

Ah well, I bet you boys dont find it so funny after yesterdays result.... not mentioning the positioning in last seasons premiership table either.
Report Abuse
18/08/2008 10:07:00


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