Vital Football

Latest Manchester City News

Let The Banter Begin - Aston Villa

Let The Banter Begin - Aston Villa

In the second of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series. In this episode, we look at our Premier League opposition Aston Villa. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.

On our previous article, Vital Manchester City profiled Manchester United.



Q: Why do Aston Villa fans carry lighters round with them?

A: Because they lose all their matches!

Q: What do Aston Villa fans use as birth control?

A: Their personalities.

Q: What is the difference between Aston Villa and a tea bag?

A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer!

Q: How many Aston Villa fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None - They're quite happy to live in the shadows

The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the dark distance a voice screams out 'Villa are good enough to win the Champions League.'

Snow White says, 'Thank God - at least Dopey's still alive!'

In the next episode, we take a look at Chelsea.



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Tudor
Date:Wednesday July 23 2008
Time: 8:47PM

Comments

0
seriously s***est article i've ever heard. need to look at your facts to
ruddy
23/07/2008 21:12:00
0
Touched a nerve have we ruddy?
Tudor
23/07/2008 21:20:00
0
LMFAO!!!!!!! Hahahahah! Bravo! Well at least Gareth Barry has got some proper ammunition for Martin O'Neill now.
R.K
23/07/2008 21:28:00
0
Do you write the jokes in christmas crackers? I quite liked the tea bag one but apart from that - they're not even funny.
melski
23/07/2008 21:38:00
0
Back in the 70's I used to be a stand up comedian. Sadly I do nothing more than write scripts for Vital Man City. Sad life I know.
Tudor
23/07/2008 21:50:00
0
nice idea but otherwise a pile of *****e. I thoughts mancunians were supposed to be funny?
rotter82
23/07/2008 22:02:00
0
bernard manning was a stand up comedian, and the best i've ever seen, so please no more, don't pretend you were in the same line of work as him,
eltoro
23/07/2008 22:03:00
0
RK, a celtic fan arent you? Still bitter about MON leaving? What a shame.
randy.stand
23/07/2008 22:34:00
0
Mancunians are funny looking, not "funny". Could have said those jokes about any team. Not even relevant. Shame as nice idea
Villan444
23/07/2008 22:57:00
0
Ahh Man Us ugly little sister.....
Stourbridge Villan
23/07/2008 23:10:00
Page 1/4
  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4

Login to post a comment

Recent Manchester City Articles

Manchester City FC 1894 5 - AS Monaco 3 - Johnny On The Spot

The City-Monaco Blitzkrieg...

The Ped Into Europe Report City 5-3 AS Monaco

Can We Get Our Breath Back?

Blue Tuesday Podcast (21/02/17)

Jimmy Wagg from BBC Radio Manchester asks how many of Manchester City's team from the weekend (v Huddersfield Town) will still be at the Etihad in August?

Manchester City Player Ratings v Monaco

I am giving my first ever 10 out of 10 but you'll have to read on to find out who received my perfect score.

VMC Social Media

Archived VMC Articles

VMC articles from

Site Journalists

Tudor (VMC Editor)
Editor email
Profile
Johnny Baguette
no email
Profile
Pedmachine
no email
Profile
Skoorb
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Your Favourite Goal From The Monaco Blitzkrieg?
Suggested By: Shaun Gloater
R Sterling 2613%
S Aguero 586%
S Aguero 7158%
J Stones 763%
L Sane 8220%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Chelsea 25 19 3 3 60 34
2 Man City 25 16 4 5 52 22
3 Spurs 25 14 8 3 50 28
4 Arsenal 25 15 5 5 50 26
5 Liverpool 25 14 7 4 49 24
6 Man Utd 25 13 9 3 48 17
7 Everton 25 11 8 6 41 13
8 WBA 25 10 7 8 37 3
9 Stoke 25 8 8 9 32 -6
10 West Ham 25 9 5 11 32 -9
11 Southampton 25 8 6 11 30 -3
12 Burnley 25 9 3 13 30 -9
13 Watford 25 8 6 11 30 -13
14 AFC Bournemouth 25 7 5 13 26 -14
15 Swansea 25 7 3 15 24 -23
16 Middlesbrough 25 4 10 11 22 -8
17 Leicester City 25 5 6 14 21 -19
18 Hull City 25 5 5 15 20 -27
19 Crystal Palace 25 5 4 16 19 -14
20 Sunderland 25 5 4 16 19 -22
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News
Write for Vital Football

Recent Manchester City Results (view all)

Manchester City Fixtures (view all)

Feb 26 2017 2:15PM : Manchester United (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 5 2017 4:00PM : Sunderland (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 11 2017 12:30PM : Stoke City (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 19 2017 4:30PM : Liverpool (H)
Barclays Premier League
Apr 1 2017 3:00PM : Arsenal (a)
Barclays Premier League
Apr 5 2017 7:45PM : Chelsea (a)
Barclays Premier League

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Buzz Lightyear543
2.Skoorb257
3.Johnny Baguette254
4.Rising140
5.Bluedub119
6.Tudor103
7.johnkelv96
8.Colin Is The King74
9.citizhun74
10.kennyclementstache56
The Vital Football Members League