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Vital City Zen: Dig Out Your Blue Soul


The Times this week revealed that City's spokesman/manager/agent/scout/apologist Mark Hughes met with City's political asylum seeking fugitive owner Thaksin/Frank/Toxin Shinawatra at his London hideout to discuss transfer targets earlier this week. The word on the 'Street of Shame*' is that having already been embarrassed, Bluesy has decided that the young squad he has inherited does not have the mental and physical strength to see this season through. Considering City's clearly ropey financial status, it is difficult to identify who the gaffer can bring in with the required Premier League experience to stabilise the team. Yet more signings from abroad on staged fees has to be the likeliest outcome...



...and the first of those overseas players unfamiliar with the Premier League is Hamburg central defender/ defensive midfielder Vincent Kompany who is said to be close to joining the Blues in a deal which will be eventually worth £6 million. The 6ft 3 inch Belgian replaced Daniel Van Buyten at Hamburg after he left for Bayern. Kompany has only appeared 28 times for Hamburg over two seasons since signing from Anderlecht having suffered an Achilles injury. He should be going straight into the squad for West Ham if the deal goes through. Like City's absent Brazilian frontman Jo, Kompany has been arseing about for Belgium at the Beijing Olympics.


Giving another indication of the club's seemingly rudderless direction, with quotes knocking about here and there, Garry 'The Sky Blue Pimpernel' Cook, MCFC's Executive Chairman revealed to the odd hack that City had made bids for Blackburn's Santa Cruz but had been well and truly knocked back by former rag and West Ham traitor Paul er, 'guvnor' Ince. Cook gave the impression that the deal is dead in the water as well as at the same time leaving us wondering who is actually running the club.


The luckless Boj has undergone his second serious operation in a year, this time on his achilles which was cruelly snapped at Villa Park last week. And now the long road to recovery begins all over again for the lad. The estimate for him to be back in some sort of action is six months but we have to be realistic and consider that the man who was showing signs that he could have been our Raging Bulgarian this season will probably not figure in the first team until the late spring at the earliest.


There has been one shining light in an abysmal month for everyone connected with Manchester City. Our current Captain Fantastic Micah Richards, who certainly leads by example and scored a goal for England Under 21's this week playing alongside a rapidly improving Nedum Onouha. A timely reminder to not only Fabio Crappello but the Premier League Big Four who continue to lurk in the brilliant 20 yr old's considerable shadow.


City have confirmed that they have reopened talks with the Academy graduate over a new contract. Following his garbage performances this summer, it's pretty sure that the player and his agent are in a far weaker bargaining position than they were last season.


City have been scuppered in bids which can best be described as desperate for rag Mikael 'Lightbulb Head' Silvestre and Marseille's Djibril 'Hairdressers Dream' Cisse. Taggart cast off Silvestre has inexplicably signed for Arsenal and Cisse snubbed City for Sunderland which shows how far our stock has fallen inside 8 months. Both players are regularly injured and we wish their club's medical teams every success.


Good grief. Again. Yet another embarrassing development for world weary Blues to deal with. Whether or not City are right or wrong, Shaktar Donetsk have reported City to FIFA over the club's alledged failure to pay something called a 'solidarity payment' over Elano's transfer last summer. Even if City's mysterious hierarchy are correct in their belief that the selling club should pay this strangely titled fee, there has to be something in it if the matter is now with FIFA. It is this correspondents opinion that Thaksin's City operate in murky transfer waters.


The long, slow and painful final goodbye to the likeable Italian could take place any day now. He has agreed personal terms with Torino and it is now just a case of how much money City can claw back on the failed deal. Yet another case of what might have been. It would have been interesting to see how the lad would have performed in a 4-4-2 formation with a strike partner.


Vital MC hopes to bring you a seven questions interview with Vital West Ham before this weekend's game.


WEST HAM UNITED at The City Of Manchester Stadium. FA Premier League: Sunday 24th August, 1600 GMT

City Form
Last six PL games: W,W,L,L,L,L
The Hammers Form
Last six PL games: L,W,D,L,D,W


Refwatch: Howard Webb:

The first game of the new campaign for the Yorkshireman saw no cautions in The Gunners routine win over WBA. Webb is the man who refereed City's fine victory in the Munich derby this year and last season racked up 166 yellow cards and only 4 reds across 46 games.

Johnny On The Spot?:

West Ham remain pretty much the London side that City fans can best relate to. Both clubs have a similar standing and history within the game and mutual respect between the two sets of fans has been noticeable down the years.

City's currently destabilised plight whereunder the manager is forced to rely upon a backbone of MCFC Academy youngsters needs no introduction. The Hammers go into this one off the back of the rearguard action that saw off Wigan last week.

All things considered, as with last season's mini-series, I think this game is too close to call and I am expecting a 1-1 or 2-2 result.

But if City get an early goal and a Thaksin distrusting Eastlands crowd get behind our young team, then anything can happen and probably will!

*Street Of Shame copyright Private Eye

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The journalist

Writer: Johnny Baguette Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday August 21 2008

Time: 3:40PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

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Another top-drawer article JB.
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 15:59:00

we need to get on the board a win this game
dunne deal
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 16:04:00

Cheers lads. The team have to avoid wobbling in the first minutes of each half. That can only come with confidence. If I was Curbs, I'd be aiming long balls in at Ashton in an opening fusilade and hope for panic.
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 16:17:00

Wonderful report JB.
city 81
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 16:21:00

Cheers city 81! So another defender is arriving. Will Hughes now release Corluka to Spurs? Many blues feel Corluka is not putting in any effort since his transfer was refused. Anybody agree?
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 16:24:00

I Agree! Also payment for Elano is in the post (City Official), its just the media with old news as usual - apparently according to the "MEDIA" City fans are fat... HA HA. How sad is that, nothing to write about so they go - "I know, let’s go and write about shirt sizes and call them fat! Who the hell writes up on that, my god media get a F-- life!
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 16:36:00

Agree JB he looks like a lad who has lost his way home from school.
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 16:40:00

Corluka is not pulling his weight sorry big man, its just what I see in your over-all game. Have you read up on this new guy? He a defensive midfielder, 22 years old!
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 16:41:00

Agree, Corluka good player but slow, Look to third goal for Aston Villa you will make sure of that, On the other hand, The new player his face similar Alfonso ( Middlesbrough ) face !
city 81
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 16:59:00

Spot on '81. Corluka left the club mentally a week or so ago I supsect. Anyway, on the subject of fat fans.. I may be contributing to the stats guys. Gonna diet for the Blues. No more beer until our first win of the season. Sh*t.... I'll be 7 stone by October.
Aston Smithy
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 17:09:00

It's all to do with the City Shop advising that fans had asked for "more generous" shirt sizes this year. One independent football website spotted it and of course, the media's current "Get City" campaign are leaping on the story. Any day now, the rag mirror etc will sieze upon the isssue and cue more City laughing stock stories. Following all that embarrassing Feng Shui nonsense being pumped out to the press, it just shows the club have not got a clue how to market it's public image.
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 17:15:00

Steady on Aston Smithy - no more beer until our first win of the season. Blimey, my local village pub will go bust if I follow you're lead.
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 17:15:00

Countdown to Chelsea at Home: Now 23 days and only 3 games. Rockets up arses and wins required all round. Going into the Chelski game out of the UEFA Cup or winless is not an option.
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 17:20:00

A very enjoyable read JB. Aston get some beer in for Sunday night, we played well at Villa for the most part. Poor defending cost us dearly and I am sure that MH will have told them in harsh words. It is interesting if we do agree terms with Kompany and we get him registered in time for the Wham game, where does he play? Is Charlie too slow for the premier or is he in the wrong positon at RB?
Buzz Lightyear
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 17:39:00

Micah for RB, that new guy can play in DM! Its official mate he has signed...
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 17:50:00

Cheers Buzz! I think "Vinny" might be able to do a job for us. So long as he stays fit. I'm beginning to wonder whether Hughes is considering reverting to focusing on defence as our midfield is far too lightweight. For me, there is no doubt that Charlie is a class act and shone at Euro 2008. But, he doesn't look up for it as thriller says. I'm ready for the offload. Onouha looks a better defender with each performance.
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 18:25:00

They always say start from the back and once you have that base then you can go forward. I see his point having let in 12 goals in the last 2 premier matches. Onuoha sgould be told not to cross the halfway line with a 'tom tom one' he did it on tuesday and it cost the U21s a goal. Both he and Richards were good at the set pieces on the night, but that was because the delivery into the box was first class and thats what we are missing, people in the box when we attack.
Buzz Lightyear
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 19:20:00

Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
21/08/2008 19:25:00

we have nobody for heading the ball. Can you think of one player who is good with the head?
dunne deal
Report Abuse
22/08/2008 13:12:00


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