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Vital City Zen: A Clean SWeeP!


Shaun Wright-Phillips is looking razor sharp and showing international form. It's like he was never away. My champagne moment from his first incarnation in sky blue was of him absolutely twatting that ball past a hapless Tim Howard to make it 4-1 against the rags at Eastlands in yet another memorable City derby win this decade. Dare I say it, a SWP howitzer like that one is on the cards any game now.

But it hasn't been all about SWP suddenly making things happen for us. In the pubs around town we've always bemoaned City's pisspoor modern age transfer dealings, but the board deserve credit in this instance (not often I say that) for brokering a deal that saw City £12 million up on the original debt clearing transfer.

We can now content ourselves in the knowledge that the £4.5 million lost on Georgios Samaras, the £2 million squandered on Bernardo Corradi, the £2 million wasted on Andreas Isaksson and the remainder of the Rolando Bianchi offload have been recouped in full. Something of a transfer sting all told with the promise of more payback to come!


In these days of expected instant results, there was a danger that some Blues would be critical of the big Brazilian because he has yet to find the net for City. There has also been a danger that his transfer fee might weigh heavy on him but Robhino sensationally coming in may have seen that factor off. For me, his work rate has been outstanding, his first touch often perfect and his ability to hold it up and bring others in to the game is just what we have been lacking up front.

Jo has the potential to be as popular at City as talismen Uwe Rosler, Niall Quinn or Shaun Goater. You get the feeling that once he scores, plenty more will follow as he is going to see a lot of service from the wingers.


It's clear as the soon to be driven snow that Sir Alex Ferguson and the Evil Empire are absolutely rattled by developments at SportCity and seething over the extra money they were forced to stump up for their one summer signing, the well overpriced and soon to be 28 yrs old Dimitar Berbatov.

Taggart would do well to spend more time focusing on the rags gargantuan debt and motivating his side to win football games instead of commenting on City's transfer capabilities. He has to find another £30 million to sign Quasimodo Tevez for a kick off!

Staff of the rag's sponsor AIG are crapping themselves worldwide right now fearing bankruptcy and the Glazer family are sure to be impacted upon should their shirt brand go under.


Vital MC is delighted to hear that Michael Johnson has finally signed a 5 year contract extension at City. Hopefully this will see him return to form now the pressure is off.


'We had shown a past interest in bringing the player to the football club in the right circumstances and spoke to him and his representatives. However, we have chosen not to pursue the matter.'

- City's hierarchy receive the recent portly images of the tranny grappling pie taster 'Ronlardo' and hurriedly distance the club from him. File under Thank God.

"From a sports point of view, for me it is a disappointment because Robinho had everything here to triumph. But you have to respect his dream to be a good player in a mediocre club in England."

- Real Madrid's Bitter Bernd Schuster wins zero respect for this sideswipe at our Robhino and fuels the fire for us all to prove him wrong.

"If you look at the players coming in, the hard and fantastic work that Mark Hughes is doing, I`m very confident that the big results will come with time. I think we`ve shown the signs that there is something here.'

- The more than promising Vinny Kompany senses City are on the up and up.

'I don't see myself in the shirt of another Manchester team.'

- The other Ronaldo, Ladyboy Riverdancer, dashes the hopes of Dr. Al Fahim and nobody else.

''I disregard it really because it's all talk at the moment when it comes down to trying to get players. There's been a lot of talk about going for Cristiano, which is absolutely absurd. They may find it difficult to get the players they want. As we found with the negotiations with Dimitar, it's not easy now. You can buy 11 individuals but you don't have a team. It's difficult to say what's going to happen to City.'

- Sir Bacon Chops spends yet more time talking about Manchester City.

'It would be a shame if the normal family could no longer afford to go the stadium. The English are walking on thin ice. They cannot ignore the fans and they have got to be careful.'

- Didi Hamman echoes many of our concerns over the way the English game is going.


AC Omonia at The Neo GSP Stadium, Nicosia, Cyprus
UEFA Cup Round 1 (1st Leg) Thursday 18th September 2008 @ 1800 GMT

City Form:
Last 6 games including UEFA Cup fixtures: L,L,W,W,W,L
Omnia Form:
A mystery. The truth is out there...!


Johnny On The Spot?:

They call them the rags of Cyprus which is enough to get us going for starters. I'm getting the impression that there are no easy games in Europe and it sounds like we can expect to face a decent side with a vociferous home support which includes a few headbangers, so City will need to be on their guard in all areas. Still, if our defence has learned from letting Chelsea back into the game last saturday so easily, then we have to be looking at coming away with a win.

AC Omonia 0 City 2


Portsmouth at The City of Manchester Stadium
FA Premier League: Sunday 21st September , 1500 GMT

City Form:
Last six PL games: L,L L,W,W,L
Pompey Form:
Last six PL games: L,L,L,L,W,W


Johnny On The Spot?:

We ran rings around Pompey at Eastlands back in April and that was without a quicksilver Jo, Robhino and Wright-Phillips in front of a pretty much downcast City faithful. Fast forward five months and we're absolutely buzzing. We're all getting used to the Thursday-Sunday European routine and if we get the right result in the mediterranean, I'm expecting City to win, and win well, regardless of Pompey's recent improvement in form. When it clicks, this City side will give someone a right battering soon.

City 3, Portsmouth 0.

Vital MC's Magnificent Seven Fans Interview with Pompey should be with you after the mission to Cyprus.

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The journalist

Writer: Johnny Baguette Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Tuesday September 16 2008

Time: 9:10PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Excellent summarisation of the current situation JB. It's a pity Tudor is going to miss all the excitement of the next couple of weeks.
Report Abuse
16/09/2008 21:52:00

City 3, Portsmouth 0 Hm looking very confident but don't take off Portsmouth yet.Uncle Harry has a good team.The way u defend against Chelsea & considering Defoe's form at this moment u will not keep a clean sheet.
Report Abuse
16/09/2008 22:00:00

Well, we were feeling dead and buried a few weeks ago, clinging to Charlie Corluka and fending off the overly cocky Spurs fans who's dreams of a Modric revolution are in tatters. There are bags of gaols in this City side and it will be interesting to see how Pompey approach this one after that pre Cup Final pasting in April. It's going to be another cracker!
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
16/09/2008 22:07:00

Tudor may yet be holding out for the Cyprus game to be psotponed by a week!!
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
16/09/2008 22:08:00

I wish! - Another cracking article JB, top drawer as usual.
Report Abuse
16/09/2008 22:12:00

Cheers! The rags boardroom will be breathing a huge sigh of relief this morning. Bush has effectively nationalised AIG with an enormous bail out which the US tax payers will have to fund. AIG are wrapped up in amongst the ropey rag debt mountain. Now they themselves have borrowed billions.
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
17/09/2008 08:19:00

Still...what will you do when the Camel Jockeys leave?
Blue is the colour
Report Abuse
18/09/2008 22:33:00


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