Vital Football

Latest Manchester City News

Let The Banter Begin - Liverpool

Let The Banter Begin - Liverpool

In the sixth of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series.

In this episode, we look at Sunday's opponents, Liverpool. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.



Previous Let The Banter Begin articles:

Chelsea (2)

Celtic

Chelsea (1)

Aston Villa

Manchester United

Join Vital Manchester City NOW, by clicking here.



Q: What's the difference between Pamela Anderson and the Liverpool goal?

A: Pam's only got two tits in front of her

Q: What do you get if you cross a Monkey with a Liverpudlian?

A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.

Q: What is the difference between a battery and a Scouser fan?

A: battery has a positive side.

A man was walking down a street in the centre of Manchester and saw a Rotweiler attacking an old lady. He immediately ran over to the dog and started to struggle in which he sustained many bites, but he eventually he got his hands around the dog's neck and strangled it until it was dead.
A passing reporter commented: that was fecking fantastic how you saved that old dears life! I have to write a story about this, how about the headline - Manchester United fan saves granny's life? 'I'm not a Utd fan,' replied the bloke. 'Well how about Man City fan saves granny's life'? Said the reporter. 'I'm not a City fan either,' said our hero, 'I`m from Liverpool'. 'Never mind I know just the headline, you read the paper tomorrow' said the reporter. The man picks up the paper the following day to read the headline - SCOUSE BAS***D KILLS FAMILY PET!

Q: What's the difference between a Scouser and a broken clock?

A: Even a clock is right twice a day!

Q: How do you make a scouser run faster?

A: Stick a DVD player under his arm.

Man walks into a shop in Liverpool:

Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife?

Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you?

Q: What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?

A: One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut.

Q: What do you call a scouser in a suit?

A: The accused.

Q: Why is the Anfield Stadium grass so green?

A: Because every week Liverpool put millions of pounds worth of s*** on it.

Scouser walks into the D.S.S. and says: - 'I've just been offered a blow job; If I take it will it affect my benefit claim?'



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Tudor
Date:Friday October 3 2008
Time: 8:12PM

Best of Vital Network

Vital Boxing - Tyson Fury Will Be Back!

Comments

0
Liverpool can confirm they have made approaches for Italian and Japanese international strikers to join them in January. Sources are yet to confirm whether Robatelli and Nickamota will sign or not.
oliverblue
03/10/2008 20:36:00
0
Definition of a Scouser's Laptop? A Takeaway Pizza.... Er, I'll get my coat...
Johnny Baguette
04/10/2008 07:26:00
0
ouch !
lincolnblue
04/10/2008 08:06:00
0
Q: Define "Confusion"? A: Father's Day in Liverpool.
oliverblue
04/10/2008 10:52:00
0
What should you do if you see a scouser jogging? Trip him up and give the lady's purse back to her.
oliverblue
04/10/2008 10:54:00
0
Why can't Scousers work for Kwik-Fit.......they only know how to take wheels OFF.....
lincolnblue
04/10/2008 12:09:00
0
OOOOOOOH you lot are in for it now.LOL. Teacher to pupils, give me a sentence with the word car in the sentence. Wayne' I wanna nick a car worrell do a 100 miles an hour.' teacher smacks the pupil, and says its not worrell, its darrell.
Buzz Lightyear
04/10/2008 13:03:00
0
Not much banter I'm afraid. It's all one way traffic LOL!
oliverblue
04/10/2008 13:14:00
0
Man City won a trophy once. No, seriously, they did!
Aamir
04/10/2008 13:55:00
0
At last. We have a bite! LOL!
oliverblue
04/10/2008 14:04:00
Page 1/2
  1. 1
  2. 2

Login to post a comment

Recent Manchester City Articles

A City Called HOME

A City called home is a dramatized documentary portraying a personal perspective of the city of Manchester, through the eyes and heart of a born and bred Mancunian.

Tottenham v Man City Live Streams & Global TV Coverage

Following their respective midweek Champions League games Manchester City now travel to White Hart Lane to face Tottenham on Sunday in the top of the table Premier League clash.

Tottenham v Manchester City (Sunday 2 October 2016)

After a breathless encounter in the Champions League in midweek, City's players complete their impromptu footballing tour of the British Isles with...

Andre Marriner Takes Charge Of Spurs v City

The Premier League has appointed Birmingham born Andre Marriner to referee this weekend's fixture between Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester City.

Archived VMC Articles

VMC articles from

Site Journalists

Tudor (VMC Editor)
Editor email
Profile
Johnny Baguette
no email
Profile
Pedmachine
no email
Profile
Skoorb
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

How many goals, if any will City score against Tottenham?
Suggested By: Tudor
Five or more16%
Four0%
Three14%
Two42%
One21%
City won't score7%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Man City 6 6 0 0 18 13
2 Spurs 6 4 2 0 14 7
3 Everton 7 4 2 1 14 6
4 Arsenal 6 4 1 1 13 8
5 Liverpool 6 4 1 1 13 7
6 Man Utd 6 4 0 2 12 5
7 Crystal Palace 7 3 2 2 11 3
8 Chelsea 6 3 1 2 10 1
9 Southampton 6 2 2 2 8 1
10 WBA 6 2 2 2 8 1
11 Watford 6 2 1 3 7 -1
12 Leicester City 6 2 1 3 7 -3
13 Burnley 6 2 1 3 7 -3
14 Hull City 6 2 1 3 7 -5
15 AFC Bournemouth 6 2 1 3 7 -5
16 Middlesbrough 6 1 2 3 5 -3
17 Swansea 6 1 1 4 4 -5
18 West Ham 6 1 0 5 3 -9
19 Stoke 6 0 2 4 2 -11
20 Sunderland 6 0 1 5 1 -7
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Recent Manchester City Results (view all)

Manchester City Fixtures (view all)

Oct 2 2016 2:15PM : Tottenham Hotspur (a)
Barclays Premier League
Oct 15 2016 3:00PM : Everton (H)
Barclays Premier League
Oct 23 2016 1:30PM : Southampton (H)
Barclays Premier League
Oct 26 2016 8:00PM : Manchester United (a)
Capital One Cup
Oct 29 2016 3:00PM : West Bromwich Albion (a)
Barclays Premier League
Nov 5 2016 3:00PM : Middlesbrough (H)
Barclays Premier League

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.OziMan1
2.Johnny Baguette1