UK time is: 08:50:12
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Let The Banter Begin - Liverpool

In the sixth of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series.

In this episode, we look at Sunday's opponents, Liverpool. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.



Previous Let The Banter Begin articles:

Chelsea (2)

Celtic

Chelsea (1)

Aston Villa

Manchester United

Join Vital Manchester City NOW, by clicking here.



Q: What's the difference between Pamela Anderson and the Liverpool goal?

A: Pam's only got two tits in front of her

Q: What do you get if you cross a Monkey with a Liverpudlian?

A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.

Q: What is the difference between a battery and a Scouser fan?

A: battery has a positive side.

A man was walking down a street in the centre of Manchester and saw a Rotweiler attacking an old lady. He immediately ran over to the dog and started to struggle in which he sustained many bites, but he eventually he got his hands around the dog's neck and strangled it until it was dead.
A passing reporter commented: that was fecking fantastic how you saved that old dears life! I have to write a story about this, how about the headline - Manchester United fan saves granny's life? 'I'm not a Utd fan,' replied the bloke. 'Well how about Man City fan saves granny's life'? Said the reporter. 'I'm not a City fan either,' said our hero, 'I`m from Liverpool'. 'Never mind I know just the headline, you read the paper tomorrow' said the reporter. The man picks up the paper the following day to read the headline - SCOUSE BAS***D KILLS FAMILY PET!

Q: What's the difference between a Scouser and a broken clock?

A: Even a clock is right twice a day!

Q: How do you make a scouser run faster?

A: Stick a DVD player under his arm.

Man walks into a shop in Liverpool:

Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife?

Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you?

Q: What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?

A: One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut.

Q: What do you call a scouser in a suit?

A: The accused.

Q: Why is the Anfield Stadium grass so green?

A: Because every week Liverpool put millions of pounds worth of s*** on it.

Scouser walks into the D.S.S. and says: - 'I've just been offered a blow job; If I take it will it affect my benefit claim?'




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The journalist

Writer: Tudor Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday October 3 2008

Time: 8:12PM

Your Comments

Liverpool can confirm they have made approaches for Italian and Japanese international strikers to join them in January. Sources are yet to confirm whether Robatelli and Nickamota will sign or not.
oliverblue
Definition of a Scouser's Laptop? A Takeaway Pizza.... Er, I'll get my coat...
Johnny Baguette
ouch !
lincolnblue
Q: Define "Confusion"? A: Father's Day in Liverpool.
oliverblue
What should you do if you see a scouser jogging? Trip him up and give the lady's purse back to her.
oliverblue
Why can't Scousers work for Kwik-Fit.......they only know how to take wheels OFF.....
lincolnblue
OOOOOOOH you lot are in for it now.LOL. Teacher to pupils, give me a sentence with the word car in the sentence. Wayne' I wanna nick a car worrell do a 100 miles an hour.' teacher smacks the pupil, and says its not worrell, its darrell.
Buzz Lightyear
Not much banter I'm afraid. It's all one way traffic LOL!
oliverblue
Man City won a trophy once. No, seriously, they did!
Aamir
At last. We have a bite! LOL!
oliverblue
Hooray !!
lincolnblue
Come on in guys -- the water's warm!! http://www.liverpool.vitalfootball.co.uk/matchprere.asp?a=127052
Sindbad
Miserable lot 'em scousers!
Tudor
Oh no, I'm going to have to say my piece and live with it afterwards. The banter is but the truth is something else. I am a City fan, but I have enjoyed so many wonderful moments seeing Liverpool carry the torch of football that I cannot enter into this banter. Yes there are rivalries between football teams and I would be proud for Manchester City to become true rivals to Liverpool on the national and the international stage. In fact I am fully expecting City to achieve much in this regard. But I am uncomfortable with this thread. As a Warrington-born I was drawn both ways but will always be a Manchester City supporter. But Liverpool are a great side, a great city and a great people. I hope City thrash Liverpool tomorrow. Does that make sense? If it doesn't then it doesn't. I will have to live with it.
Sindbad
I would get into this banter but unfortunately like 16.5 million other Liverpool fans I'm not actually from Liverpool - so it's a bit moot me rising to the Scouser quips...If you've got any Irish jokes on you I'll take ye on ;)
Naoise
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Manchester City Articles

Negredo Busts His Metatarsal (Monday July 21 2014)

City Head Out For US Tour (Monday July 21 2014)

Hearts 1-2 Man City (Saturday July 19 2014)

Toure Pledges To See Out Contract (Friday July 18 2014)

Falcao How? (Friday July 18 2014)

Negredo Not Looking For A Way Out (Wednesday July 16 2014)

City Announce 2014-15 Shirt Numbers (Wednesday July 16 2014)

Ten City Fixtures Switched (Monday July 14 2014)

Dundee 2-0 Man City (Monday July 14 2014)

Archived Manchester City Articles

List All VMC Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Buzz Lightyear 177
2. Bluedub 106
3. fifthcolumnblue 89
4. kennyclementstache 76
5. citizhun 62
6. Skoorb 59
7. Spooks 51
8. rojo2010 42
9. johnkelv 40
10. PhillyBlueMoon 38

League Results (view all)

Latest Results

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
7. Hull City 0 0 0 0 0 0
8. Leicester City 0 0 0 0 0 0
9. Liverpool 0 0 0 0 0 0
10. Man City 0 0 0 0 0 0
11. Man Utd 0 0 0 0 0 0
12. Newcastle 0 0 0 0 0 0
13. Q.P.R. 0 0 0 0 0 0

Breaking League News

Alonso Deal A Non Starter?
Sunderland : 23/07/2014 08:47:00
Fabregas on Board
Chelsea : 23/07/2014 07:52:00
West Ham - Live on BT Sport This Morning!
West Ham : 23/07/2014 07:44:00
Chelsea miss the final piece of the puzzle
Chelsea : 23/07/2014 07:39:00
Swindon Was Okay - Koeman
Southampton : 22/07/2014 19:55:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Player of the Year?
Suggested By:  Site Staff
David Silva 8%
Pablo Zabaleta 44%
Edin Dzeko 4%
Yaya Toure 44%