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Let The Banter Begin - Tottenham

Let The Banter Begin - Tottenham

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In the eighth of many, Vital Manchester City brings readers the 'Let The Banter Begin' series.

In this episode, we look at our next opponents, Tottenham Hotspur. To make the most of the atmosphere, ensure you're PC speakers are on.

This article is not intended to be-little the club or their fans in any shape or form - on the contrary, the whole idea is intended to be light-hearted.



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Previous Let The Banter Begin articles:

Newcastle United

Liverpool

Chelsea (2)

Celtic

Chelsea (1)

Aston Villa

Manchester United

Did you hear how Tottenham has become an all-water stadium? - Someone gave-them a 3-piece suite.

A man is sitting in a pub with his Jack Russell dog one Saturday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner, 'Manchester City 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1,' reads the announcer in his normal, rather sedate, voice.

Suddenly the Jack Russell dog jumps up and shouts out, 'Oh, no, not again.'

The shocked landlord says, 'That's amazing. Why did he say that when the result was announced that Tottenham lost?'

Because he's a Spurs supporter,' the dog's owner replies.

The landlord then asked what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replied, 'I don't know. I've only had him three years.'

Q: What does a chewing gum and Tottenham have in common?

A:They both stick to the bottom of the table.

I hear that Tottenham underground station in London has been closed: apparently, they have been having trouble with the points.

Someone informed me yesterday that Tottenham Hotspur have a new nickname. They are now called 'The Barnacles' because they are on the bottom.

A little boy gets £10 for his birthday & rushes down to the sports shop to buy the new football he has been desperate for. He gives the ball to the shopkeeper - sorry son this ball is £20 you only have £10. The boy says ok if you blindfold me & I can guess the name of the club on any ball will you give it to me for £10. He agrees and gives the boy an Arsenal ball,

I can hear canons blasting so it's an Arsenal ball. Next, he gives him a Millwall ball. I hear lions so its Millwall. Amazed the man says get this and you can have it for nothing. The boy listens & says Spurs, the man says you heard a cockerel right, the boy says no, 'it`s going down.'

Many moons ago when I was at school, two of my mates were Spurs supporters. They would go to White Hart Lane, wait for about ten minutes after kick off, and climb over the wall. One Saturday a policeman caught them and he made them go back in and watch the rest of the game

All premier league matches have been called off this weekend due to some un-usual betting patterns, it turns out a £5 bet has been placed on Spurs to win this weekend.

I was playing scrabble today when I realised I had the letters to spell Tottenham Hotspur but was pissed off when I realised it was only worth 2 points

Went to White Hart Lane yesterday and noticed how green and lovely their pitch was so I summoned over the guy who's job it was to look after the pitch and asked him what his secret was, his reply…

'Well I do nothing, just every Saturday afternoon we put £17m worth of shit over the pitch and it works wonders'

Osama Bin Laden sent out a new video to prove he was still alive, in it he said SPURS were crap recently - British intelligence dismissed it saying:'That could have been recorded anytime in the last eight years'

NEWS JUST IN! Posh n Becks have reportedly just bought THFC for £300 million for their son Brooklyn for his birthday present. Apparently, he asked for a cowboy outfit.

The groundskeeper at spurs was seen planting potatoes behind the goals and when asked why... he said, 'So we got something to lift at the end of the season'

Exclusive to Vital ! Read now ! The Vital Boxing John H Stracey Interview



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Tudor
Date:Friday November 7 2008
Time: 4:14PM

Comments

0
This might get a few interesting comments!
Tudor
07/11/2008 16:24:00
0
funny cant remember man *****y beatin da spurs in da league in a long time citeh1-3 spurs coys
glendalough yid
07/11/2008 16:51:00
0
16-03-2008, English Premier League: Man City 2 - Tottenham 1
Johnny Baguette
07/11/2008 16:57:00
0
Hey JB thats ages ago to a Spuds fan. The Machine!!!
Buzz Lightyear
07/11/2008 17:23:00
0
Apparently Daniel Levy asked his lad what he wanted for his Birthday and he said a Cowboy Outfit, so he bought him Spurs.
Buzz Lightyear
07/11/2008 17:27:00
0
i cant belive this match isnt on tv at all its going to be a great match very tough one redknapp is doin a brilliant job with them he is a good manager ill be honest about it. Benjani will he play or will he not cause i personally think him and robinho will team up brilliant one is strong the other is fast
dunne deal
07/11/2008 18:27:00
0
I think Sky have to do a quota for every Premier league team at least 4 home matches. We will probably get more air time next year.Benjani just back from injury needs match fitness and therefore you bring him on later in the game and work on his fitness that way. I would not expect MH to use him from the off, although he did start with Vass on Thursday, but it was obvious that he too was struggling and needs a few more games.
Buzz Lightyear
08/11/2008 04:37:00
0
I agree Buzz......but I think he will start with Benjani tomorrow in stead of Vass......as he was the sharper of the two on thursday !!
lincolnblue
08/11/2008 07:39:00
0
short memory that chap has.. i think its time we give him some more recent once of City beating spurs LOL
ArabianKnight
08/11/2008 09:23:00
0
An embarrassing declartion, I admit, AK. There's no excuse these days. "Check your stats before posting" ie. "Clunk Click Every Trip."
Johnny Baguette
08/11/2008 10:02:00
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