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January's Kaka Experts: The Fools You Are

The football hacks and learned pundits who queued up to praise the 'admirable' Kaka and savage MCFC last January are looking beyond stupid this morning...

The general cut and thrust of almost every football headline last January had two themes. How dare 'liddle ciddy' ruin football and what an example to us all Kaka was for declaring his love of AC Milan.

As we now know, 6 months ago Kaka was content to be a pawn in the Rossoneri's Dracula impersonating president's self serving masterful spin. It included a £100 million City offer for the mercurial player that only Berlusconi's media networks announced, yet so many saps bought into.

Kaka clearly had other ideas all along and funny old thing, he's signed for the going for broke Real Madrid for a world record £60 million. In surreal terms, that's twice the fee the rags paid Lids United for Rio Ferdinand...but that's another story.

Around the time of Berlusconi's popularity with the AC Milan faithful sky rocketing and Kaka's badge kissing window appearance to the delight of the campaigning AC fans the striker declared he wanted to 'grow old at AC Milan.'

6 months later he declares he has signed for Real Madrid not only to 'make history' but also to help out AC Milan financially.

How mugged those AC Milan fans must feel today.

But now, time for January's City bashing 'Roll of Dishounour.' Lest we forget, with bells on...


G14 elite club apologist and pontificator-in-chief, UEFA President Michel Platini led the way:

'How one guy can cost 150 million euros is ridiculous from a social, football and financial point of view. Manchester City can work with all the young players in Manchester and bring them to the academy and they become like Kaka.'

- Platini obviously never saw a City team sheet last season.

Up popped the bandwaggoning PFA Chief Executive Mr. Gordon Taylor:

'It is a bit bizarre that, in these times of credit crunch, we are talking about a club paying £100m for one player. Football cannot be immune from the credit crunch and whilst City are an exception to the rule, the game has a duty to show financial propriety at this moment in time.'

No clamour of moaning would be complete without Arsenal's Arsene Wenger who became scarily City obsessed earlier in the year:

'It doesn't look in connection with what is today's world. On one hand you have the economic situation, which is worrying. It goes against the economic situation and I don't feel in connection with that, because we are at a club where we live in the real world.'

Then there was the inexplicable David Beckham who siezed every toe curling photo opportunity he could to hug the Brazilian superstar. Kaka was reported to be crying a lot around that time:

'We all want him to stay and I think he will stay, as he loves Milan and he loves living here.'


The vast majority of hacks all but got out their flaming torches and pitchforks. John Ley at the Independent got his calculator out, added on a few quid and came up with these pearlers...

'Four other ways to spend £135m

1. Save British jobs, like the 1,300 Yellow Pages axed as part of a pre-Christmas cost-cutting drive.

2. Launch a last-gasp bid to buy up the failed High Street retailer Woolworths.

3. Underwrite Labour's pre-Budget report plan to save doctors' surgeries.

4. Bail out fund manager New Star Asset Management, and their £12bn assets.'

- a hysterical theme ran repeatedly around 'The Street Of Shame*' that somehow His Highness Sheikh Mansour was under some sort of obligation to build British hospitals and bail out more businesses the way he bailed out Barclays Bank.

Carlo Garganese of said it all in one headline as he shrieked:

'If Kaka Moves To Manchester City, Football Is Dead.'

A favourite 'guru' of the Vital MC Forum massive is one Mark Lawrenson of the Daily rag Mirror. He became seriously worked up in January when he thundered:

'Credit crunch suffering means Kaka transfer fee is just immoral.'

One of the most excruciating accounts at the time came from The Grauniad's Simon Hattenstone. Worse still, he's a City supporter:

'By rejecting Mansour's millions, Kaka has made a stand against the grotesque wealth that could destroy football... so thank you, Kaka, for restoring my faith by rejecting our millions.'

However, the most disgraceful 'piece' appeared in the Torygraph as freelance Michael Henderson went to town on all things Manchester City:

'Send in the clowns - it's another episode in the sad saga of Manchester City...Kaka did the football world a huge favour when he knocked back Cook and his associates.'

Don't hold your breath for a similar 'football is dead' backlash from the aforementioned 'experts.' These are untouchable G14 elite clubs we are talking about:

Berlusconi's £100 million and destination Manchester City? Obscene.

Florentino Perez forks out £60 million and destination Real Madrid? Oh, that's alright then.

Who are the clowns now, Mr. Henderson?


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The journalist

Writer: Johnny Baguette Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Tuesday June 9 2009

Time: 8:55AM

Your Comments

This is an amazing piece - spot on. Absolutely agree with you Johnny old son - fair play to you fella. We had the same thing you know - money is ruining football (but only if its us spending it).
The way of the world! Couldn't agree more, both our clubs (guess who me and OLASAL support!) have been victimised by UEFA! - oh and the press, and Platini. But it's worth it when you lift the sweet PL! Good luck knocking Le'Arse off fourth spot boys!
100 million IS foolish. Like it or not. 65 million is still excessive, but has ben paid before (Zidane's transfer, with the trasfer rates back THEN). Its not that anybody will protest if you paid 25 million for Tevez. The protests start when you start paying 100 million...
I think bitterness is behind this all...
Cheers, Chelsea. JT, you aware City never reached the stage where they tabled a bid?
Johnny Baguette
Oh well, sure the press will apologise for the vitriole they directed our way in January. Won't they?
Well in THAT case, I agree with the other fellows that all the above mentioned nonsense was unncessary.. :-)
JB, fantastic article with some real ghosts dragged out to haunt us in all those city hating quotes! I hope the bad press we revieved won't put off adug from going for any more world class players.

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