Writer: Johnny Baguette
Date:Tuesday September 8 2009
We've been overdue a comedy classic from the swamp and the rags most expensive defender has merrily quipped to the hacks that 'money does not buy success...'
In the absence of any great copy from Gary 'Chuckle' Neville, the increasingly creaky Rio Ferdinand has stepped into that big mouthed bitter void with a pearler of an interview.
'I won't like it much if City start doing well,' he droaned. 'This city is not big enough for two big teams. But they have very loyal supporters who have been crying out for success over the years and have not had it, but maybe now they think their time has come, with all the money that has been invested.'
Before gobbing off, maybe he should take a look back at the money Sir Taggart has thrown at his own squad up to and including the era when the Glazer family dragged the Stretford club into gargantuan debt.
There's a way of thinking being peddled about out there since the rags failed to spend much money by their own previous standards this summer that they are suddenly some sort of admirable example to us all.
In fact, they have broken the English record transfer fee repeatedly since signing Gary Pallister for a record £2.3 million in 1989.
Lest we randomly forget some of the rags big pay outs...
1995 'Andrew' Cole £6 million
1998 Dwight Yorke, £12.6 million
2001 Ruud Van Nistelrooy, £19 million
2001 Juan Veron, £28.1 million
2002 Rio Ferdinand, £30 million
2004 Wayne Rooney, £20 million
2007 Owen Hargreaves, £17 million
2008 Dimitar Berbatov, £30.7 million
In a further attempt to emphasise his apparant ignorance, the former Lids man turns his attention to Chelsea's history before Roman Abramovich took over the London Club:
'Sometimes, though, money does not buy success. It can do, as we saw at Chelsea, but they were starting from finishing fourth, fifth and even third in the league (before the arrival of Abramovich.) City are starting from a different position.'
Shurely shome mishtake. Er, for the exact record, Roman Abramovich bought Chelsea in June 2003. Chelsea finished sixth in both the seasons 2000/2001 and 2001/2002 with squads boasting the bought for likes of Cudicini, Melchiot, Gallas, Le Saux, Zenden Lampard , Stanic, Hasselbaink Gudjohnsen, Zola, Petit Le Boeuf, Di Matteo, Flo and Desailly.
For Mercer's sake, this lazy myth that Chelsea only started spending after the oligarch came to Laandaarn Taarn beggars belief.
At least Ferdinand is correct in one aspect. Sheikh Mansour bought a Manchester City Football Club in a far weaker position to that of Chelsea in 2003.
File under You Couldn't Make It Up. Again.
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Date:Tuesday September 8 2009
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