UK time is: 12:53:17
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Calling All Manchester City Fans


With the Manchester derby almost upon us we at Vital Manchester City would like as many Blues as possible to send us your favourite ManUre jokes.

Please remember, we are a family site and any jokes which overstep the mark will have to be deleted from the front pages. However, if you get the urge and your not sure if your joke is suitable, I'll allow the boundaries to be pushed as far as possible via our 100% City Chat forum.


Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Manchester United Players on them ...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What do you call 20 Manchester United Fans skydiving from an aeroplane?
A: Diahorrea

Q: What do you call a Man Utd season ticket holder?
A: Scenery...

Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?
A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.

Q: What have Man Utd and a 3-pin plug got in common?
A: They're both bugger-all use in Europe.

Top tip for Manchester United fans: don't waste money on expensive new kits every season. Simply strap a large inflatable penis to your forehead, and everyone will immediately know which team you support.

Bookmark and Share






Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



*Try Vital Mobile FOR FREE for the latest news, scores, fixtures and so much more*

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The journalist

Writer: Tudor Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday September 17 2009

Time: 2:59PM

Your Comments

Rags are like rats in London. There's always one within 10 yards.
Johnny Baguette
TO QUOTE ONE OF MY MANY SIGNATURES ON MY PROFILE 'HOW DO YOU CONFUSE A MAN UTD FAN? SHOW HIM A MAP OF MANCHESTER.........THANK YOU,IM HERE ALL WEEK!
mcfcirish
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Manchester City Articles

Players Respond To Newcastle Loss (Thursday October 30 2014)

Harsh Rodney Marsh (Thursday October 30 2014)

Pellegrini - Same Failures Cost Us (Thursday October 30 2014)

Silver Lining (Thursday October 30 2014)

Boss Hopeful On Duo (Thursday October 30 2014)

Yaya Recognised (Thursday October 30 2014)

Stats: Man City v Newcastle (Wednesday October 29 2014)

The Great Dane - City Are Bigger (Wednesday October 29 2014)

Team News: City v Newcastle United (Wednesday October 29 2014)

Archived Manchester City Articles

List All VMC Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Johnny Baguette 211
2. Skoorb 177
3. fifthcolumnblue 123
4. OziMan 99
5. Bluedub 86
6. rojo2010 81
7. kennyclementstache 73
8. CITYBOY1000 68
9. PhillyBlueMoon 63
10. johnkelv 56

League Results (view all)

Latest Results
West Ham 2 - 1 Man City
Man City 4 - 1 Spurs
Aston Villa 0 - 2 Man City
Hull City 2 - 4 Man City
Man City 1 - 1 Chelsea
Arsenal 2 - 2 Man City

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Chelsea 9 7 2 0 +15 23
2. Southampton 9 6 1 2 +15 19
3. Man City 9 5 2 2 +9 17
4. West Ham 9 5 1 3 +5 16
5. Arsenal 9 3 5 1 +4 14
6. Swansea 9 4 2 3 +3 14
7. Liverpool 9 4 2 3 +1 14

Breaking League News

Arsenal v Burnley Match Preview
Arsenal : 31/10/2014 12:29:00
Eto`o set to trigger new deal
Everton : 31/10/2014 12:00:00
AVFC - This Season v Last Season (9 Games)
Aston Villa : 31/10/2014 11:38:00
Villa Injury Update Ahead Of Spurs Clash
Aston Villa : 31/10/2014 11:10:00
Distin set to fight for Everton career
Everton : 31/10/2014 11:00:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

The Stretfords Are Getting Cocky. Who Will Win On Sunday?
Suggested By:  Ivor Galactico
The rags 40%
The Champions 60%