UK time is: 16:56:38
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Calling All Manchester City Fans


With the Manchester derby almost upon us we at Vital Manchester City would like as many Blues as possible to send us your favourite ManUre jokes.

Please remember, we are a family site and any jokes which overstep the mark will have to be deleted from the front pages. However, if you get the urge and your not sure if your joke is suitable, I'll allow the boundaries to be pushed as far as possible via our 100% City Chat forum.


Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Manchester United Players on them ...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What do you call 20 Manchester United Fans skydiving from an aeroplane?
A: Diahorrea

Q: What do you call a Man Utd season ticket holder?
A: Scenery...

Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?
A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.

Q: What have Man Utd and a 3-pin plug got in common?
A: They're both bugger-all use in Europe.

Top tip for Manchester United fans: don't waste money on expensive new kits every season. Simply strap a large inflatable penis to your forehead, and everyone will immediately know which team you support.

Bookmark and Share






Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



*Try Vital Mobile FOR FREE for the latest news, scores, fixtures and so much more*

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The journalist

Writer: Tudor Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday September 17 2009

Time: 2:59PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Rags are like rats in London. There's always one within 10 yards.
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
17/09/2009 17:48:00

TO QUOTE ONE OF MY MANY SIGNATURES ON MY PROFILE 'HOW DO YOU CONFUSE A MAN UTD FAN? SHOW HIM A MAP OF MANCHESTER.........THANK YOU,IM HERE ALL WEEK!
mcfcirish
Report Abuse
18/09/2009 20:19:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Manchester City Articles

The Manchester City Injury Table (Friday April 24 2015)

Clichy - We Must Finish Strongly (Thursday April 23 2015)

The Ped Report.. City 2-0 West Ham (Monday April 20 2015)

Silva Lining (Monday April 20 2015)

Toure On West Ham Win (Sunday April 19 2015)

Pellegrini's Silva Worry (Sunday April 19 2015)

Archived Manchester City Articles

List All VMC Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Johnny Baguette 470
2. Skoorb 232
3. Bluedub 182
4. kennyclementstache 116
5. fifthcolumnblue 95
6. johnkelv 74
7. citizhun 62
8. OziMan 62
9. Buzz Lightyear 58
10. CITYBOY1000 50

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Chelsea 32 23 7 2 39 76
2. Arsenal 32 20 6 6 31 66
3. Man Utd 33 19 8 6 28 65
4. Man City 33 19 7 7 33 64
5. Liverpool 32 17 6 9 11 57
6. Spurs 33 17 6 10 6 57
7. Southampton 33 17 5 11 21 56

Breaking League News

Leicester City : 25/04/2015 16:55:01
Burnley : 25/04/2015 16:54:01
Manchester City v Aston Villa - Team Sheets
Man City : 25/04/2015 16:35:01
Aston Villa Taking On Man City - Starting Line-ups
Aston Villa : 25/04/2015 16:33:01
Southampton : 25/04/2015 14:59:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Will City Finish In The Top Four?
Suggested By:  The Grim Sweeper
Yes 92%
No 8%