UK time is: 17:29:35
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Calling All Manchester City Fans


With the Manchester derby almost upon us we at Vital Manchester City would like as many Blues as possible to send us your favourite ManUre jokes.

Please remember, we are a family site and any jokes which overstep the mark will have to be deleted from the front pages. However, if you get the urge and your not sure if your joke is suitable, I'll allow the boundaries to be pushed as far as possible via our 100% City Chat forum.


Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Manchester United Players on them ...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What do you call 20 Manchester United Fans skydiving from an aeroplane?
A: Diahorrea

Q: What do you call a Man Utd season ticket holder?
A: Scenery...

Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q: What's the difference between listening to Alex Ferguson's after-match interview and childbirth?
A: One's an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one's just having a baby.

Q: What have Man Utd and a 3-pin plug got in common?
A: They're both bugger-all use in Europe.

Top tip for Manchester United fans: don't waste money on expensive new kits every season. Simply strap a large inflatable penis to your forehead, and everyone will immediately know which team you support.

Bookmark and Share






Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



*Try Vital Mobile FOR FREE for the latest news, scores, fixtures and so much more*

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The journalist

Writer: Tudor Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Thursday September 17 2009

Time: 2:59PM

Your Comments

Rags are like rats in London. There's always one within 10 yards.
Johnny Baguette
TO QUOTE ONE OF MY MANY SIGNATURES ON MY PROFILE 'HOW DO YOU CONFUSE A MAN UTD FAN? SHOW HIM A MAP OF MANCHESTER.........THANK YOU,IM HERE ALL WEEK!
mcfcirish
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Manchester City Articles

The Ped INTO Europe Report CSKA 2-2 City (Wednesday October 22 2014)

Pellegrini Denies We Are Now Outsiders (Wednesday October 22 2014)

Team News: CSKA Moscow v City (Tuesday October 21 2014)

Pellegrini Praises Our Mozart (Sunday October 19 2014)

The Ped Report....City 4-1 Spurs (Sunday October 19 2014)

Team News: City v Tottenham Hotspur (Friday October 17 2014)

Looking For A Certain Goal Ratio (Thursday October 16 2014)

More Milner Murmurings (Thursday October 16 2014)

Archived Manchester City Articles

List All VMC Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Johnny Baguette 201
2. Skoorb 126
3. fifthcolumnblue 96
4. Bluedub 65
5. kennyclementstache 59
6. PhillyBlueMoon 50
7. rojo2010 43
8. CITYBOY1000 42
9. citizhun 40
10. johnkelv 39

League Results (view all)

Latest Results
Man City 4 - 1 Spurs
Aston Villa 0 - 2 Man City
Hull City 2 - 4 Man City
Man City 1 - 1 Chelsea
Arsenal 2 - 2 Man City
Man City 0 - 1 Stoke

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Chelsea 8 7 1 0 +15 22
2. Man City 8 5 2 1 +10 17
3. Southampton 8 5 1 2 +14 16
4. West Ham 8 4 1 3 +4 13
5. Liverpool 8 4 1 3 +1 13
6. Man Utd 8 3 3 2 +3 12
7. Arsenal 8 2 5 1 +2 11

Breaking League News

Sam's City Press Conference!
» West Ham : 23/10/2014 17:22:00
United Happy Talk!
» Man Utd : 23/10/2014 17:16:00
Mixed Injury News Ahead Of Palace
» WBA : 23/10/2014 17:08:00
Duo Called Up By Brazil
» Chelsea : 23/10/2014 17:06:00
Bitter and Twisted?
» Man Utd : 23/10/2014 16:53:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Your Favourite Kun Goal Against Spurs?
Suggested By:  Shaun Gloater
Agüero 13′ 45%
Agüero 20′(pen) 0%
Agüero 68′ (pen) 11%
Agüero 75′ 44%