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Spurs Supporters Subjected To Scrutiny

Publishing jokes and taking the mickey out of the opposition is as old as Father Time himself. In fact it's childish, rude but most importantly, it's bloody good fun.

Where shall we begin?

Q - What's the difference between Father Christmas and a Spurs win?
A - Spurs win doesn't exist

Q - Did you hear about the problems on the underground today?
A - They were caused due to a Points failure in North London

I was in the White Heart Lane shop t'other day, saw a sign that said 'Spurs: The glory years...£200' I said to the woman behind the counter...'Bloody hell that's a bit steep, how do you get away with charging that?'She looks at me and said...'Well it's £5 for the video.'

A man jumps into a pool of sharks, swims around then climbs out. 'How'd you do that?' says an onlooker. 'Look at my T-shirt,' he replies. 'It reads 'Spurs for fourth'. Even the sharks won't swallow that!'

A wealthy Arab consortium made an enquiry about purchasing Spurs. In their list of enquiries, they asked if it was acceptable to get wider use out of the pitch by grazing 100 camels. The formal response from Spurs was, yes no problem as long as they don't get upset by the 11 donkeys who graze on Saturday afternoons.

Haringey council has blocked Tottenham's plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park. A town hall source said...

'We don't mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much.'

Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Spurs colours. Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks.

What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win? Turns off the Xbox

After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and said, 'No way, I ain't that special.'

A man was found dead floating in the Thames, wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family embarrassment.

A little boy gets £10 for his birthday and rushes down to the sports shop to buy the new football he has been desperate for. He gives the ball to the shopkeeper, who says, 'Sorry, son, this ball is £20. You only have £10.' The boy replied, 'OK, if you blindfold me and I can guess the name of the club on any ball, will you give it to me for £10?' He agrees and gives the boy an Arsenal ball. 'I can hear cannons blasting, so it's an Arsenal ball. Next he gives him a Millwall ball: 'I hear lions, so it's Millwall.' Amazed, the shopkeeper says, 'Get this and you can have it for nothing.' The boy listens and says Spurs. The man asks if he's heard a cockerel. 'No,' says the boy. 'It's going down.'

Spurs have been forced to rename their ground 'White Lane' because their 'Hart' was surgically removed when Berbatov and Keane were sold.


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The journalist

Writer: Tudor Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday December 14 2009

Time: 8:29PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Report Abuse
14/12/2009 20:43:00

This should be a cracker. Come on City.
Report Abuse
14/12/2009 20:54:00

hahahaha!!! even funnier is our defence at the moment. Cant see us beating you guys on Wednesday. Still at least we didnt sell our best defender and replace him with Lescott for 24 million.
Report Abuse
14/12/2009 22:23:00

Not sure what disapointed me more by this page, the annoying advert which spits out sound as soon as the page is loading or the inability to write an article tittle which matches the article actually I like it was the jokes which are mostly older than me! As for Wednesday, well at least you might get above us in the table for a change!
Report Abuse
14/12/2009 22:32:00

Spuds - pah, we'll be whipping someone's ass come Wednesday!! (says he with tongue in cheek).
Report Abuse
14/12/2009 22:42:00

Whats a tittle anyway stu_u2k?
Report Abuse
14/12/2009 23:00:00

It's very quiet over here. Is it always like this?
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 01:04:00

helloooo anyone home ?
haverhill spurs
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 03:42:00

You do like stirring it Tudor - remember this 'is' the season of goodwill. So to all on Vital Spurs - Merry Xmas from Thailand.
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 07:24:00

We prefer to conduct most of our business on the forums rather than the front page shelf16. Of course, those jokes are sooooooo old that I think it's put people off posting!
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 07:44:00

A badly on field leader required like yesterday to kick arses as the new Captain of Spurs to be sure we get that fourth spot we so desperatly want , a no nonsense tough as old boot Captain like what Roy Keane was and probly still is as the boss of Ipswich Town , where is the Billy Bremnar`s the Norman Hunters , the Dave McKays , the Tommy Smiths , the god bless him Emlyn Hughs , etc etc etc the all tough guys that also carry the respect right through to board level unafraid to speak his mind about who ever that player maybe not giving that proud to wear jersey 100% everytime he pulls the jersey on , come on Harry that right guy is out there get the lazy so and so scouts off their arses and find him , get quality in Harry were possiable or we will loss everything not even the european cup place , at least a couple of world class guys pay them top dollar feck the rest !!!!!!!!!
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 07:50:00

ROBBERY! Late last night thieves broke into Maine Road and stole the entire contents of Manchester City's trophy room. Police are looking for two men carrying a light blue carpet.
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 09:48:00

Man City are apparently under investigation by the Inland Revenue for tax evasion; they've been claiming for Silver Polish for the past 25 years
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 09:56:00

How many city players does it take to win a trophy? Only 11- but you have to go back 25 years to find them
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 09:57:00

How many city fans does it take to change a light bulb? None- Their all happy living in United's shadow
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 09:58:00

A new Man City Oxo cube is about to be introduced. It'll be called "laughing stock"
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 10:01:00

Keep Googling Dazza but try to keep your posts to one per 100 jokes.
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 10:32:00

LOL, actually my Man United supporting mate sent them to me
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 13:10:00

and the best thing is we play our football better then our jokes and they are good
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 13:16:00

Its is quiet on here isnt it! there are more Spurs posts than city!! COYS!!
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 13:35:00

should be a good game at least you wont park the bus.
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 16:31:00

Like it DazzaTHFC lol You'res were actually funny! Tudor's jokes were just ironic....Mocking a team about winning when your team specialises in draws, not to mention the fact that not only have we been above you all season but, in spite of your millions, we also finished above you last season despite having the worst prem start in our history! Now thats what I call funny! :-)
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 16:33:00

We pay your benefits We pay your benefits We pay your benefits We pay your benefits
nel yid
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 16:35:00

Seriously though I'm expecting an exciting open game which could go either way. Annoyingly I'm going to miss it as I'm watching Ricky Gervais live - this is true. At least I'll be able to enjoy some decent jokes ;-)
Report Abuse
15/12/2009 16:36:00

Kevinho the tittle is: Spurs Supporters Subjected To Scrutiny which after the little spoken BAE issue would be understanderble if only the article had any relevance to it at all!
Report Abuse
16/12/2009 00:37:00

who's the joke now?
Report Abuse
16/12/2009 22:01:00

god it really is quiet in here now.anymore jokes.i could think of 11
haverhill spurs
Report Abuse
16/12/2009 23:45:00


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