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'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Other Sports - Yuk, I Love Football


Hello there. I am Bundo and I'm new to Vital Football and the article writing lark, albeit I have written two articles already about topical football issues. However, I thought I'd simply type out the keyboard here about discuss simply...football. I hope you enjoy the following.

Tennis

I get a headache watching it to be honest. All that back and forth, and back and forth followed by some more back and forth - just doesn't cook the turkey for me. Of course you have the 'amazing shot' which 'takes your breath away' (the commentators really know how to make everything sound so superb), but there's not an awful lot special about it to be honest - no back heels, 180 degree spins, no overhead shots - nothing. Also, you've got to concentrate like I don't know what. The fellas just got a point - so that's 1-0 surely? No - 15-0. How? Ah well - now I've got my head around that let the other guy pop the ball over and get the next round going.

*Bam* * Bam* - *Grunts, that would drive a dirty old man crazy* - *Bam* - *Cheers* Wahay - he's scored - 30-0? Ahh, makes sense...has he not won yet? No - so then we continue.

It goes to 40!!! Was that shot not as good as the earlier? Is it only worth 10? And then Deuce gets involved - and advantages - and sets and match points - and arrgghh! Too many words! Too many rules! Too complicated - for two people to knock a ball about a bit!

Basketball

I get invited by my lovely arm chair to have a sit down, and it would be rude for me to turn her down, so I plant my bottom onto her and my cheeks firmly in grasp of the cushions to watch this famous American game. However, something takes over. You find yourself leaping out from the chairs arms that had once wrapped around you to keep you so comfortable, and shouting and raving at this small (or with all this HD lark - humongous) television box! However, I have a theory of why - it's not because the game has more passion than football - because that would be inaccurate. It's simply (in my opinion) - the ludicrous rules in it!

All you have to do is breath near to an opponent and you are off the pitch and banned for the rest of your life. Also, the screeching awful noise that the basketball pitch makes is enough to make an alarm clock's shriek seem harmonious! Just dreadful.

Cricket

Are you after a slow paced game? Are you after standing around all day waiting for decisions to go through? Do you want to have a posh name like 'Swann' or 'Lake'? Yes, well English cricket is the game for you. Of course, I feel rather proud that we invented the sport of cricket as Brits (although you could have the argument of India actually creating cricket - but my History teacher said we did - and I shall not call him a liar), but it is certainly the slowest game in the world.

Most of the shots are never hit, almost every other decision has to be looked at, and the game has to go on for days and days, (I know that there are different types over different period of times - but even those games are slow as possible). It seems more hard work to watch than to play!

Now football!

That is a game! It has its individuality - with every single player having a different style - a different flare - a different touch! And, every single time that somebody different touches the ball - nobody else has touched it in that way before. You have Ronaldinho, you have Roberto Carlos, you have Jon Obi Mikel, you have Fernando Torres, you have Owen Hargreaves - all different to the next - and that's what makes it so strikingly wonderful!

And then you stick them all on one field and say - 'go on - get at each other - and try and kick that spherical object into the back of that net over there', and then they're off! Kicking, screaming, rampaging, and they all adopt this passion, this heart, this mission to follow this ball around and do anything to get hold of it and welly it into the back of the net. And somehow, one day, people fell in love with this and it became so unbelievably entertaining!

People - thousands - no, millions - no, I'm going to stick my neck on the line and say - billions of people will sit down, whether it may be in their armchairs or whether it's within stadiums with other tens of thousands of people, to watch 22 men run around and play this game! And, not only is it the 22 men that get all hot and flustered with passion and aggression - the fans do too! And that is what I and you are! Fanatics - of the wonderful game! The wonderful game that is football. And, that is my take on football.

Bundo, over and out.

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The journalist

Writer: Bundo Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Sunday April 11 2010

Time: 9:42AM

Your Comments

Interesting stuff Bundo.
Scragg
Great article Bundo and with you all the way - football the opium of the people!!
Wswilly3
Bundo, I do believe there exists an equation that actually proves other sports are rubbish and mathematically inferior to football. Apparantely the massively overfunded LTA have bought the rights to said equation and actually use the money meant for inner-city tennis development to pay security staff to protect it on the island of Svalbard which also houses the emergency world seed bank. Fact!
RobsonGreensleeves
Cheers all .... and thanks for that. Thats explained it all. All my life ive just been wondering "is there an equation that proves all other sports are rubbish and mathematically inferior to football?" and you have answered this. Thanks :) hah
Bundo
 

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