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Paper Talk: Week 1

This is the first of what will be an ongoing summary of the week's news - mainly about City, but also covering anything else deemed news worthy by me from the world of football. And no, I couldn't think of a clever name for it.

With the FIFA World Cup over, I thought it an appropriate time to begin, especially as the transfer speculation is going into overdrive and it gives me a lot of stuff to write about. Most of it bollocks.

Speaking of bollocks, lets start with our first news story: "Manchester City agree 17m deal with Lazio for Aleksandar Kolarov".
'Oh no they didn`t!`
says the Lazio chairman. 'Oh yes they did!` say the media. Actually, they didn't, but this premature ejaculation by the media was certainly an intriguing affair, and one which has meant that by the time he actually signs, no-one will care.

The other ping-pong pantomime going on at the moment is of course, the Mario Balotelli story. City are interested. United are interested. He isn't for sale. He might be for sale. No offers yet. No-one has a clue what is going on, and neither does Moratti, with his latest statement of, "I promise I know nothing" summing up the entire fiasco. We are none the wiser.

Taking a break from the bollocks, here is something that will definitely float your boat. The new home and away kit designs have been leaked, so check them out and happy masturbating.

One of the other highlights of the week was surprisingly found on Talksport. Possibly the worst football pundits ever (yes, even worse than Paul Merson), are completely ripped apart by a City fan (who sounds a lot like Johnny Vegas). If you missed it, have a listen:



Seriously though guys, stop listening to that utter shite of a show. The calibre of their punditry is the equivalent of allowing a children`s party clown to host BBC2's Newsnight. And no, I wasn't referring to Jeremy Paxman.

Back to the papers, and back to the transfer rumour that just won't go away: Fernando Torres. Roy "everyone used to like him at Fulham and now no-one likes him at Liverpool" Hodgeson has declared "he is not for sale". Well thank god for that.

Torres in undoubtedly a top striker, but Roque Santa-Cruz has made that medical room his own - and he doesn't want to share. Let`s face it, it's Dzeko we all want (although admittedly, not for the 50m quoted by his club).

As the 30m Milner saga rumbles on, as well as a few others, the most exciting news this week was not which player was coming in to the club, but who was going out.

Real Sociedad eyeing up Brazilian flop Jo made my week. But then only a few days later they said the chances of a deal were "scarce", so I consoled myself with a tub of chocolate ice-cream and another wank over those new City kits.

And so on to a serious and extremely sad note to end this week's column, the news that City legend Ken Barnes had passed away on Thursday. May I express my condolences to his family and to a great many friends and colleagues of whom loved and respected him greatly. He will be missed by all.

Thanks for reading, see you next week.




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The journalist

Writer: Lincolnsmariner Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Saturday July 17 2010

Time: 1:10AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Before i start my rant, id like to hope that kolarov does sign because hes the best left back in serie a. I watch alot of serie a on espn and setanta and the lad has a powerful shot. Fingers crossed we get balotelli too, mancio will get the best from him. Mike parry and mike graham (and most of the english media) ignorance is amazing. They are the type of fan that on champions league night only watch the english teams high lights and goals. Though the best teams and players in the world play in the CL. The type of fan who praises messi for scoring a hatrick against arsenal and cant be arsed to watch on la liga live on sky sports. Silva was 1st choice left winger when spain won the euro's 4 years ago, one of the best attacking midfielders in spain for the past 5years and hes played CL for valencia and recently won the world cup with spain AND YOUVE NEVER HEARD OF HIM. This same idiot mike parry predicted england would win the world cup and we have SEVEN world class players (we dont even have one). Credit to the city fan who gave him both barrels, i was fuming when i heard this. Was cech, ferriera, cavalho, essien, robben, drogba, cole all world class players when chelsea signed them to win the league? City need a world class team. Keep your injury proned gerrard, constantly injured torres and over priced milner (one good season, average internationl player) - valued at 30mill / silva (world cup & euro winner, CL experience, one of the best attacking midfielders in europe) valued at 28mill. I rest my case.
Super City Slicker
Report Abuse
17/07/2010 10:53:00

So who exactly is this double Champions League winner Yaya Toure? Never heard of him.
fifthcolumnblue
Report Abuse
17/07/2010 12:35:00

Shame on Parry and Graham for their ignorance, shame on Talksport for employing them, and although I was happy with that City fan putting them in their place, shame on the listenership that gives them ratings which justifies these muppets staying on air.
Bluedub
Report Abuse
17/07/2010 14:39:00

I listened to the Talksport call-in live and remember kicking the dog in frustration - not at the City caller but because Parry and his sidekick drove me to dispair. I've just listened to the clip again and for some reason the dog did a runner. Dunno why!!
Tudor
Report Abuse
17/07/2010 15:01:00

give Parry his Dues, the man is a tosser,and a Scouse one at that, but Talksport has to play the 'Devils advocate' here otherwise they would not get any listeners or the phone in's would be *****e, more so than they are now... Brazil, Parry, and Durham are on the station for purely the annoyance factor and nothing more, but it entertaining (sometimes)... i mean Parry was the ghost writer for Shrek Rooney's book, you get the colouring pens in the next scintillating edition of his life's story.... cant wait.....
cityman51
Report Abuse
18/07/2010 14:44:00

 

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