UK time is: 06:46:09
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

City Fans Prepared To Sacrifice Jo Brilliance

Calling all agents and travelling circus acts. The time has come for Planet Blue to reluctantly accept that Joao Alves Jo should leave Manchester City as soon as possible...

This might come as a shock to Roberto Mancini and a bus queue of hatstand Jo admirers, but if City are to realise lofty ambitions this Spring then we will have to start games with ten outfield players more regularly. 73 minutes without Jo before his substitution at Leicester certainly gave the home side an unfair advantage.

In truth, you never know what you'll get with Jo which is what makes his inexplicable presence on a football pitch all the more intriguing.

Will he be able to remain standing up with the ball somewhere near his feet if an opposition player comes within a yard of him? Can he run with the ball unaided for a period of 5 seconds? Or will he throw himself to the ground clutching his face to the toe curling embarrassment of his team's supporters should he get touched anywhere else on his body? For the more fashion conscious fan, what hairstyle will he sport?

Jo's stumbling, sprawling credentials are second to anyone. His meretriciously conspicuous ball control has to be seen to be disbelieved. City fans, in idle moments following 'boring City TM' often play a game of second guess as to where any Jo header will end up. Numerous Balti Pies have been won and lost as a result of the wayward Brazilian's mesmerising rambling runs into nowhere.

Blues would like to make it clear however that the scandalous rumour that Frank Shinawatra's advisers 18 million signing of Jo from Moscow during a management 'black hole' at Eastlands was not a mistake. The entertainment value has been X-factorishly wonderful. The only mistake was that they meant to come back to Manchester with Wagner Love.

At the moment of going to press, Norff Laandarn Taarn used car salesman Harold Redknapp is believed to be prepared to host 'The Beckham Circus' for a limited period this season. If he is looking for a clown to further distract from the rest of his team's collective efforts then Jo could offer that extra something thus far undefined at the City of Manchester Stadium.

Like a succession of hapleslly lunged for crosses, this opportunity is not to be missed.

We have 47,000 taxis on standby to drive Jo to wherever his agent would like him to be.

Jo has been under contract at Manchester City since 7th July 2008 and has made 9 league starts. He has scored 1 league goal.


Head for the VMC Match Day Experience Forum for the build up and beyond to City's return to Premier League action against resurgent Wolverhampton Wanderers.

Vital Man City on: facebook

Vital Man City on: twitter

Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The journalist

Writer: Johnny Baguette Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday January 10 2011

Time: 10:22AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
He must have some evil hold on Mancini, 'cos no-one in their right mind would pick this guy. If the referees did their jobs properly and sent Jo off for impersonating a footballer perhaps Mancini would then take notice!
Report Abuse
10/01/2011 10:53:00

Here here JB. Jo has to go and sooner the better. He's bloody useless and doesn't deserve to wear a City shirt. Get rid now I say.
Report Abuse
10/01/2011 11:02:00

"Doesnt deserve to wear the City Shirt" my god what short memory you have, youve won nothing in 34 years. To my knowledge hes been very professional at City unlike idiots like Balotelli and Tevez who are only at your club for 1 reason
Report Abuse
10/01/2011 11:41:00

To your knowledge Hudd, that says it all. He's very lucky to still be at City after his first seasn here so don't talk *****.
Report Abuse
10/01/2011 11:46:00

Repeatedly fined by Hughes for missing training/ throwing sickies/ turning up in nightclubs before games. Did similar in Turkey on loan. Spurs can have him, no problem, for nowt.
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
10/01/2011 12:08:00

David Moyes on Jo on loan at Everton.... "Jo didn't come in over Christmas so we fined and suspended him...I brought him back in, spoke to him and explained to the players I was going to give him another chance and he came and trained with us last week... And then he didn't turn up for training on Monday again so I don't know how many more chances I can give people. I thought it was only going to be disruptive to the players, who thought it was the right thing to bring him back after his suspension...But when he never came in to work on Monday that was the final straw."
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
10/01/2011 12:11:00

JB i take your point that he used to be indisciplined and all that but i doubt that is the case currently. It's totally unfair judging players by what they might have done in the past and it absolutely disgusts me when we seem to target our own players as is happening with Jo now. A Johnson(who can't seem to last 90mins without disappearing), Barry and Hart have all been caught on benders, do we get rid too? Tevez hands in a transfer request, Lescott and Richards moan about leaving if they don't play, do we get rid too? He's 4th choice striker and willing to play his part without moaning, we won't have 25 world class players, he's young and a team player and Mancini believes in him, if that cross from Boateng hadn't been touched by A Johnson, he would've had a goal. Against Fulham, Tevez squares that ball and Jo's got a goal, indeed we had our best performance of the season with Jo in the team. Its like there's a constant need to have a boo boy with some City fans. It's weird i'm actually agreeing with the Spurs fan and I'm not his biggest fan but he gets too much unfair stick.
Report Abuse
10/01/2011 15:45:00

The stakes are much higher at City now than they were when Jo arrived. That is we can no longer afford passengers. Jo is giving us absolutely nothing. Worse still he has play acted at least twice to my knowledge in recent run outs. Gonna stick my neck out here and say he will be gone inside a fortnight.
Johnny Baguette
Report Abuse
10/01/2011 17:16:00

rumour has it that Athletico Madrid might be interested in Jo, so I for one will wish him all the best and urge him to take the opportunity to play in La Liga post haste. As some have pointed out, he seems to be a reformed character nowadays and has become a model professional, but his performances on the pitch are not up to the level we require. I would not dream of booing him or giving him stick on the field - he does try, but for my money he's just taking up a space that could better be filled by the likes of Nimley, Ball or Guidetti.
Report Abuse
10/01/2011 18:52:00

Like i said, i'm not his biggest fan but its an exaggeration to say he gives us absolutely nothing otherwise Mancini wouldn't pick him. He gives us height upfront and actually wins headers and works for the team because he knows his place in the pecking order. He's had bad games like every other player on the planet and he's not the only one who has play acted in our team. I won't lose any sleep if he leaves tomorrow but at least be fair to the lad.
Report Abuse
10/01/2011 21:44:00

Plain and simple the man is out of his league in EPL and needs to move on...
Report Abuse
11/01/2011 04:27:00


Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Manchester City Articles

Kolarov Keen On Serie A Return (Monday March 30 2015)

Yaya To End International Career? (Monday March 30 2015)

Flashing The Cash! (Monday March 30 2015)

Milner Quitting For Liverpool? (Monday March 30 2015)

Hart Set For England Milestone (Wednesday March 25 2015)

Shortlist Drawn Up! (Wednesday March 25 2015)

City Stars On International Duty (Tuesday March 24 2015)

Pellegrini Gets Lampard Backing (Tuesday March 24 2015)

Archived Manchester City Articles

List All VMC Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

Vital Members League (view all)

1. johnkelv 1

League Results (view all)

Latest Results
Man City 3 - 0 WBA
Burnley 1 - 0 Man City
Man City 2 - 0 Leicester City
Liverpool 2 - 1 Man City
Man City 5 - 0 Newcastle
Stoke 1 - 4 Man City

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Chelsea 29 20 7 2 +36 67
2. Man City 30 18 7 5 +34 61
3. Arsenal 30 18 6 6 +27 60
4. Man Utd 30 17 8 5 +25 59
5. Liverpool 30 16 6 8 +12 54
6. Southampton 30 16 5 9 +21 53
7. Spurs 30 16 5 9 +5 53

Breaking League News

Fresh Rumours Suggest Second Costa IS Coming
Chelsea : 01/04/2015 05:19:01
Fighting To The Finish
Chelsea : 01/04/2015 04:18:01
Ref Watch: Moss to officiate Chelsea v Stoke
Stoke : 31/03/2015 21:00:00
Stoke Interested in Permanent Deal for Moses
Chelsea : 31/03/2015 18:27:01
Ooh Saucy!
Man Utd : 31/03/2015 17:31:01

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Suggested By:  Site Staff
Hart 2%
Zabaleta 0%
Kompany 0%
Mangala 5%
Clichy 0%
Jesus Navas 5%
Fernando 5%
Lampard 0%
Silva 52%
Bony 5%
Aguero 21%
Sub - Jovetic 0%
Sub - Dzeko 0%
Sub - Milner 5%