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Kicker Conspiracy Hair Raising Signings Imminent?

Kicker Conspiracy Hair Raising Signings Imminent?

With the new Premier League fixtures release less than a fortnight away, certain players are going to get a pool side call from their agent because Man City have been on...

Despite the best efforts of numerous crestfallen straw clutching hacks to undermine stability at the FA Cup Winners by targeting alleged hierarchical disharmony, Planet Blue continues to bask in the afterglow of a triumphant season.

And all this set against a backdrop of shock hair transplants, appalling FIFA corruption and UEFA whistling in the dark.

However, the time for the strengthening of the resurgent City squad that secured long unprecedented success is now upon us whilst dreary rumours and counter rumours are repeatedly peddled over the future of dithering Carlos 'Kia' Tevez. One signing of whom City have more than had their money's worth.

The nosediving MUEN have gone to the ludicrous lengths of suggesting that El Apache will leave this summer for the same fee as Liverpool paid for Andy Carroll. We'll see, but it could well be that much of Roberto Mancini's 'forward thinking' will depend upon the eventual declaration of the Argentinian striker's commitment to wherever. But the cool cat City gaffer holds all the aces over the under contract goal machine.

Mancio is likely to be more pre-occupied with who is coming in after urging fringe players to leave and this correspondent outside of second guessing what Wayne Rooney's new syrup will look like is anticipating that Manchester City are intent upon raising a few more hairlines yet with some bold business.

No Blue can realistically expect a hatful of new signings with Platini and his accolytes lurking, but I'd suggest a whirlwind of initial exit door activity bolstered by some stealth bomber deals for coveted young players who have already shown that they can do the business.

The guarantee of Champions League football in East Manchester and enough loot to satiate any chancer of an agent should be enough to make 99% of any targeted signings of that stature a formality.

Keep an eye on White Hart Lane. Harold and Mancio get along nicely and the future England gaffer won't be scared of upsetting the punters should he deem it neccessary.


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Writer:Johnny Baguette
Date:Sunday June 5 2011
Time: 3:46AM


With every passing day comes a new statement from the Tevez camp indicating that he plans to see out his contract with City, so i guess the hacks will have to write about something else instead.
05/06/2011 10:24:00
Rooney's Irish jig is a granny knot for when he goes pulling!
05/06/2011 11:43:00
Did Wazza really need to give opposition fans another piece of ammo to use against him? What a plonker.
05/06/2011 12:06:00
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