UK time is: 20:19:51
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Exclusive: United Hierarchy Line Up Keane



Before Manchester City turned united's new 19 banner literally upside down, the Old Trafford power brokers sanctioned plans to change manager next summer...

Rumours had been rife last season throughout the Home Counties that Sir Alex Ferguson could be politely asked to step down before age dictates that he lose his appetite for the modern game. With the rags noisy neighbours repeatedly back in their faces and never out of the news, concern had also heightened in Florida that change as opposed to a debt fuelled risk of implosion was becoming a neccessity.

Those fears had been allayed by a fine start to the season until FC Basle, Norwich City and Liverpool recently gave the Stretford bin man's shaky yet often prolific side calls that were too close for comfort.

Today's utter steamrollering at the hands of the City juggernaut and the sight of a clearly fatigued post match Taggart who singled out a lumbering Rio Ferdinand and pisspoor French strike leader Patrice Evra for lack of leadership have fanned the flames that will surely spark the end of an era in English football.

A source close to The Biggest Club In The World Of All Time (tm) has revealed to VMC that united's day to day controller David Gill favours a cost effective Fergie approved succession to the old guard that he has groomed to build upon his affable legacy.

And it's united and Eire legend Roy Keane that tops the wishlist that will be faxed to Miami on Monday morning for approval despite today's attendance at the swamp of ashen faced Glazer brothers.

Fergie and Gill are intent upon fusing a managerial dream ticket behind the scenes throughout the season. Royston Vasey Keane would be joined by 50 year old Paul Scholes in the role of Aggression Coach and Ryan 'tearing families apart' Giggs will come in as Fitness Coach following the success of his aerobics DVD. Rio Ferdinand, affectionally known as 'Camel Gob' at Carrington will be finally put out to pasture and take up the role of 'Match Official Surround Sound Adviser.'

Ferguson's long serving right hand man when he doesn't want to speak to anyone Mike Phelan will be moved upstairs. Somewhere. Whilst Ferguson will be rewarded with the title 'God Almighty of Trafford.'

The story is lent further substance by United's board allegedly hiring Keane to carry out two major 'been there, seen it, ended it's career' know-all style interviews in the run up to united's derby humiliation. Keane gave his take on the managerial situation in Manchester by declaring 'I like Mancini.'

Another story doing the rounds is that Keane was rubbish at Sunderland and Ipswich on purpose in a bid to put himself into the Old Trafford frame.

Uppermost in the united's owners hopelessly out of touch mindset is that their only player with anything about him, every rag's favourite scouser Wayne Rugney must be kept on board at all costs. The astronomically paid international tournament hotshot is rumoured to be regretting the day he transplanted his transfer request last season after a family visit from united's infamous 'Ratboys In Black' amongst other death threats.

And what of united's beleaguered supporters in all this? Having twice broken the record of 'Fastest Wembley Fans Exit' this year, an attempt was made on Sunday to make it a hat-trick of rapid walk outs but sadly the effort fell apart raggedly in the style of David 'Young Werewolf' De Gea's hatstand-marshalled defence.

VMC caught up with MUST Match Day Coach Driver and United We Issue Editor Nobby Allcock at Ringway tonight and sounded him out over the Keane regime rumours:

'At the end of the day I think the time could be right for Fergie to call it quits next May. I mean, he's the ultimate legend but all legends must come to an end and his legendary status will be forever legend in Manchester.'

'Maybe today's result is the warning sign we've been dreading hand on heart despite the warning signs the last few weeks. I mean the lads on this bus tonight are gutted. Gutted in a way glory hunting City fans could never understand. One of my regulars Wai Yoo Kum Now has to fly to Korea tonight and the Dublin branch are already talking about jumping into the Liffy. At least these lads won't have City fans goading them like I will though, but I'm still going to wear my legendary Sharp shirt wherever I drive. Now that's commitment.'


As for City's jubilant faithful in Dukes of 92 tonight, '19 into 61' really does go and the sussed out Nani really is just a shit Michael Jackson.



UPCOMING THIS WEEK:
all times East Manchester

We 26 Oct 19:45 Wolves, Molineux LC4
Sa 29 Oct 15:00 Wolves, The Etihad, PL - Derby heroes homecoming party







Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The journalist

Writer: Johnny Baguette Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Sunday October 23 2011

Time: 8:06PM

Your Comments

Talk about playing to their strengths, Scholes will make a very fine agression coach indeed, and Wio's the man for the surround sound job. But shouldn't Giggsy be running the WAG's Social Club?
fifthcolumnblue
What about Johnny Evans? He'd be a good candidate for Minister of silly walks...
fifthcolumnblue
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Articles

Stats: Manchester City v Sunderland (Wednesday April 16 2014)

The Citizens versus The Black Cats (Wednesday April 16 2014)

The Ped Report Liverpool 3-2 City (Sunday April 13 2014)

The Reds versus The Citizens (Saturday April 12 2014)

Number 13 - Lucky For Some! (Thursday April 10 2014)

The Ped Report City 4-1 Southampton (Saturday April 5 2014)

Archived Articles

List All VMC Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Johnny Baguette 279
2. Skoorb 118
3. PhillyBlueMoon 104
4. rojo2010 101
5. Buzz Lightyear 87
6. citizhun 84
7. Spooks 84
8. Bluedub 82
9. fifthcolumnblue 78
10. kennyclementstache 66

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Liverpool 34 24 5 5 +51 77
2. Chelsea 34 23 6 5 +42 75
3. Man City 33 22 5 6 +54 71
4. Arsenal 34 20 7 7 +18 67
5. Everton 34 19 9 6 +21 66
6. Spurs 34 18 6 10 +0 60
7. Man Utd 33 17 6 10 +18 57

Breaking League News

Deeney In, Helenius Out?
Aston Villa : 17/04/2014 20:15:00
Lambetr Upbeat Ahead Of Saints Clash
Aston Villa : 17/04/2014 19:13:00
No Fresh Injury Problems Ahead Of Southampton
Aston Villa : 17/04/2014 19:04:00
Lord Mayor Charity Cup Match For Academy
Aston Villa : 17/04/2014 19:00:00
Italian Wanted?
West Ham : 17/04/2014 17:41:00
Three on Wanted List
Man Utd : 17/04/2014 17:36:00
Ruddy: We're Scrapping For Our Lives
Norwich : 17/04/2014 17:22:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Yaya Injured - Who Should Partner Fernandinho In Midfield?
Suggested By:  Gerry Gow
Javi Garcia 10%
Jimmy Milner 90%