Flogging A Dead Horse?

Weighed in, weighed in.....

The second Manchester Derby meeting of 2007 is almost with us. Following that last turgid, dour and insipid encounter dominated by the non starter tic-tac 'tactics' of the since put out to stud 'Touchline Jester' which all but ruined the spectacle, it could be a different story this time around as tipsters 'The Iceman Cometh' and 'Angrily Chewing TV Detective' go head to head (albeit without sharing a bottle of vino..)

Before they reach the post, we take a look at some of this weekend's visitors to our Eastlands track....

Unfortunately there are a number of Non-Runners...

'Chuckle Brother The First' (out of 'Dark Corner' and 'Slapped & Left') - Troubled soul running out of steam with each year that goes by. Will have to settle for seething in the paddock, but no further.

'Canadian Wonderboy' - Expensive injury prone struggler who is already showing signs of failing to keep up with the pace at this level.

'Potato Head' - Weight-carrying threshold/Allowance not an issue this time around. Laminitis suggested.

'Ladyboy Riverdancer' (out of 'Stroppy Mare' and 'Hissy Fit') - Saw red again last time out to the fury of his trainer...Er, the butt stops with him...

...and in the frame...? Amongst a crop of newly purchased hopefuls likely to be heavily relied upon are the expensive 'Quasimodo' (out of 'Dodgy Deal' and 'Ropey Agent') alongside 'Camel Gob,' who has a lumbering tendency and is likely to be off the pace as usual. 'WandersFar's' freaky dancing and diversionary tactics might not be enough this weekend. 'Man In Tights' is a perennial juvenile that somehow keeps going, but who's influence is waning, whereas 'Ginger Terror' is a dead cert to see yellow at some stage and is evens favourite for an early bath. It remains to be seen whether or not the new thoroughbreds will learn how to get into the officials faces from the off in time honoured tradition.

Clerk Of The Course: Mr. Clattenburg. Not known for many red flags...Likely to come in for officially unopposed criticism from Scotch corner whatever happens.

The Going: Good to go with the roof well and truly raised under a sea of Blue and White.

Join the Vital Fantasy Football League - its Free!